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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27188989">Crest of the Wave</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/connorssock/pseuds/jaskiersvalley'>jaskiersvalley (connorssock)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Artificial Insemination, Blood, Cesarean Section, Childbirth, Healing, Hypothermia, M/M, Miscarriage, Morning Sickness, Mpreg, Multi, No rape!, Pregnant Cahir, Pregnant Jaskier | Dandelion, Recovery, Unplanned Pregnancy, mentions of forced pregnancy, talks of abortion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 22:35:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>39,252</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27188989</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/connorssock/pseuds/jaskiersvalley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nilfgaard had found a way to rapidly breed an army. The knowledge of how they achieved it was lost with their defeat until notes were found. Eager for a family of his own, Jaskier asks Yennefer to help him and Geralt conceive. Little do they know the spell affects anyone who had taken the potion, so while Jaskier is over the moon to be expecting, Cahir's world feels like it's about to end.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach/Eskel/Lambert, Eskel/Lambert (The Witcher), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>183</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A heads up for this chapter:<br/>-It has a miscarriage in it with a still birth.</p>
<p>As said in the tags, there is no rape in this fic at all but it does deal with the aftermath of repeated forced pregnancies.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Since getting to Kaer Morhen and starting her training, Ciri’s dreams had stopped. She no longer woke screaming about a man towering over her, dragging her off to Nilfgaard. It was a relief to everyone, not having to worry so much about Ciri lashing out with her powers. Those screams had really hurt witcher ears. Jaskier was there as much as possible but his work for Redanian Intelligence had him leaving frequently enough, trying to find out how Nilfgaard seemed to have an endless supply of men to join their army. Something was definitely afoot but there wasn’t much luck in figuring it out yet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some nights, Ciri still trundled down to the hall where the adults were gathered, usually joking, sometimes drinking. But long gone were the days they would drink until they could barely remember how to stand, let alone the rest about their miserable existence. That was the delight of having a child in the old keep again. Someone to focus on, to pour into all their love the rest of the world didn’t want. It was another such night when Ciri appeared, she was deep in thought as she settled in Geralt’s lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bad dream?” Geralt asked and she shook her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just a dream?” Eskel chipped in. He had a soft spot for Ciri, they all did to be honest. None of them wanted to see her suffer or even be in a bad mood. If they could help protect her, they did.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s the same one again.” Sometimes Ciri sounded decades older than her years. “I didn’t think men could carry babies.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Laughter bubbled up from Lambert and he shook his head. “They can’t, Little Spark. You been dreaming Geralt gives you a brother or a sister?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once again, Ciri shook her head. “It’s the Evil Man. Only he’s sad now. He cries a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silence fell around the table. They were all worried about Ciri’s dreams, the fact that the Evil Man was back didn’t bode well. At least he wasn’t terrifying her into waking up screaming.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does he ever say anything?” Geralt asked at the same time as Eskel’s “What does he look like now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took Ciri a moment to start talking again. “He’s really sad. All his hair is gone. And he keeps begging someone not to take his baby.” She bit her lip as she thought. “His stomach is swollen, he likes to hold it, sometimes he hums to it but it always ends in crying.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s just a dream, Little Spark,” Lambert said in the end. “Guys can’t get pregnant. Trust me on this. And he’s too evil for anyone to want that with him even if they could.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Over the table, Geralt and Eskel nodded and they got up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on Ciri, I’ll settle you back to bed.” Eskel held a hand out and Ciri scrambled to take it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Will you tell me a story?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As many as you want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Geralt gestured for Lambert to follow him. They headed for his room where he pulled the xenovox out, calling for Jaskier as soon as he could. Lambert stood behind him, face creased in a frown.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, you don’t think her dreams actually mean something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt shot him a look just as Jaskier’s voice crackled to life, still think with sleep. “I’m really not up for a late night wank.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s Ciri. You need to come home as soon as you can.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Curses filtered through as Jaskier sounded like he was getting up and cramming things into a bag in a rush. There was a crash and Geralt pinched the bridge of his nose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be there within the hour,” Jaskier promised and the xenovox cut out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sure enough, by the time Eskel joined them in the room, reassuring them that Ciri was sleeping soundly, there was a portal opening up in the room and Jaskier was stumbling through with Yennefer in tow. He still looked quite sleep rumpled while Yennefer was as perfectly put together as ever.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I heard Ciri was in trouble?” she said by way of greeting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Explaining the dream and how it’s been recurring, Geralt and Eskel managed to relay all the information. For his part, Lambert stood back, still not quite believing the others thought Ciri’s dreams were real.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So what? You think Nilfgaard is somehow breeding an army?” Jaskier scratched his head. “I mean, even in the world of magic and all that, still struggle to see how that’s possible. There’s too many Nilfgaardians, too old. These are babies they’d be making.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The way Yennefer spat “Stregobor” was full of hatred and disdain. It drew four sets of eyes to her. “He’s been meddling with reproduction since before the Black Sun incident. There were rumours that he’d found something big but nobody could get more information. We know he sold something though. Maybe Nilfgaard was the highest bidder.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They stayed the night, Jaskier sprawled and snoring next to Geralt while Yennefer had a guest bedroom made up courtesy of Eskel. In the morning Ciri was over the moon to see them both, clinging to them each in turn. Of course, conversation was turned to her dreams.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So Evil Man is back?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think he’s evil anymore. Evil doesn’t cry like he does,” Ciri replied after a thoughtful pause. “He’s got this metal collar around his neck too. Sometimes he claws at it until his hands bleed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Uneasy looks were exchanged by the adults over the table. Whatever the hell was going on, it was serious. If Ciri’s dream were visions like they had been before, they needed to act and act fast. If, for nothing else, then to at least spare Ciri such dreams.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need you to describe him very carefully,” Jaskier said, getting a piece of parchment out and some charcoal. “I want to draw him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All too soon, they had a picture of the man, a thick metal shackle around his neck, hair chopped short, cheeks sunken in. Even just looking at him made everyone uncomfortable, knowing that whoever this man was, he was suffering. Staring down at the picture, Jaskier nodded, “It’s a starting point. If we find him, we can hopefully stop Nilfgaard.” He scratched his chin. “I could have sworn last time Ciri had dreams of him, he was in Nilgaardian armour.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a mystery that took a few months to solve but now Jaskier had a direction to take his enquiries, could also use push for the Redanian Intelligence to help seek out potential areas in Nilfgaard that could house what effectively amounted to a breeding farm. Those places that were deemed high probability, Jaskier was sent out to for investigation. He struck gold on his fourth location. Well, gold wasn’t quite the word he had in mind. Posing as an investor, Jaskier approached the ranch. Only, there were no horses there yet it bustled with activity which was what had drawn the attention of Redania.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have been assured that this is where I need to come to buy protection,” he said as soon as the door was opened. The owner looked around and scowled before yanking him in through the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whoever sent you here will die.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Laughing, Jaskier dusted off where the brute had gripped his upper arm. “No need for that. I clean up my own trail quite well thank you. But I have been reassured that the best protection is grown here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Half now, non-refundable deposit,” the man said gruffly. “How many you want?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Depends on how well your good perform. One should be enough if they’re of the claimed standard.” Jaskier pulled out a pouch of coin. “But I think maybe I should play it safe and get two.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Growling, the man snatched the bag and hefted it in his palm. “This will get you one of the best.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“May I inspect the stock I’m getting it from?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>More grumbling and a heavy bunch of keys were lifted from an out of the way hook near the fireplace. Jaskier followed the man and they headed towards the barns out in the fields. There was still not a single horse in sight. A large key unlocked the first barn door and Jaskier watched carefully. There were no traps, no trickery as they stepped in. Inside, there was an eerie silence occasionally broken by a stifled sob. On either side, stalls had been split up into at least halves. The small, barred windows didn’t leave Jaskier much wiser to start with, he couldn’t see anything in the stalls. Lower down, a couple of sunken eyes and gaunt faces flitted away from the windows as they approached, sneaking back once Jaskier and the ranch owner moved on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The more valuable ones ate at the back, ignore these ones.” As if Jaskier could ignore the looks, the glimpses of chains and collars around throats. Rage was slowly bubbling through him. “You came at a good time, most of them have been harvested a few days back. We’re slated for a new batch to start tomorrow. But there’s a couple of special ones who are out of sync but they’re worth the trouble.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not even prize bulls or horses were talked about like that. Jaskier bit his tongue to keep any harsh remarks in check. At the top of the stable there were three stalls, just as small as the others but the owner opened the tops of the doors to reveal three rather pregnant looking men.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“These are some of Nilfgaard’s finest.” To Jaskier they didn’t look fine at all, three men, all backing away from the door, one of them was Ciri’s Evil Man. “Well?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Realising he needed to speak, Jaskier hummed and turned an appraising look over each man. “I need details. This is for protection after all. You sure one will suffice?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have a choice between one of the finest generals Nilfgaard had until he turned traitor, an inventor who refused to server his empire and was selling to the enemy and the accountant to the Emperor himself until he was found to be skimming a tidy little sum off the top of the treasury’s profits.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a theme there, all the men had wronged Nilfgaard one way or another. No wonder there was a big announcement that Nilfgaard was doing away with the barbarian justice of execution. What they were doing was almost worse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Which will be ready to soonest?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That one, the scientist,” the man pointed. “Should be ready any day now. The accountant is maybe a month away. And the general-” here, he leered at Ciri’s Evil Man, “is maybe about half way along, maybe a bit less. But his tend to be worth the wait.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nodding along, Jaskier’s eyes flitted over the collars, the locks to the doors and the general state of the men. They couldn’t wait much longer, they were going to need to take the farm down and quick.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good things are worth waiting for. Got any previous batches I can look over to check for quality?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaskier was led back out of the stables but he couldn’t shake the feeling of eyes following him, gazes burning into his back. The men were desperate and he couldn’t leave them there. He was given a folder with a list of achievements of previous harvests. It took every ounce of self control for Jaskier not to start ranting and raging. The children were taken from the farm, spread out amongst a host of nursing mothers while they grew. From what he gathered, a pregnancy took about half the time and then children grew up over the course of a year more or less before they were sent off to the army as young, brainwashed men. They were always boys, something to do with the spell and Nilfgaard only wanting men for their army.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nightfall came and Jaskier was given a room. He locked the door, waited until the house fell silent before pulling his xenovox from his bag.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yennefer,” he called quietly. “I’m going to need a portal to a safe haven for about 30 men. Three of them in a delicate state. They need to be out of here tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A tired sigh was his reply but Jaskier knew he would get what he needed. First things first though, he had to take care of the owner and his men. Slitting throats had never been Jaskier’s favourite thing to do but it was war and these men were taking part in something that there was no forgiveness for. Wiping his dagger clean, Jaskier picked up the keys and headed for the stables. The door opened on silent hinges as he stepped in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay everyone, I need you to stay quiet and calm, okay?” He called softly. “I’m getting you all out of here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One by one, Jaskier opened the doors and helped unlock the collars. Finally, he got to the back of the stables, to the final three. The accountant and the scientist stumbled out but Ciri’s general seemed tense as he approached. Something wasn’t quite right but Jaskier didn’t have time to figure it out. Deftly, he unlocked the collar and stepped away, watching the man pull it off with shaking hands. Where the collar had sat, his skin was calloused. Who knew how many years he had worn a collar for, Jaskier dreaded to think.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright everybody,” he called, I have a safe haven set up for you, you’ll see a portal out behind the stables, please go through that and you will be taken care of.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He moved away then, to help usher the men through, making sure they were all accounted for. A few were hesitant, fearing they were going from one captivity to another. However, Jaskier reassured them and a few even came back through the portal to help nervous neighbours step through. In the throng of it, Jaskier couldn’t see Ciri’s Evil Man. With everything else under control, he headed back into the barn which was silent. Eerily so. There was only one way out of the barn and Jaskier had been keeping in eye on it, nobody had slipped away. From the back of the barn came a rustle, it could have been a rat but Jaskier still headed for it. Stepping into the stall that had been Evil Man’s, Jaskier’s stomach plummeted. There he was, on all fours, head dropped and rocking back as if in pain. As soon as Jaskier crouched next to him, a hand on his back, the man flinched and moved from under his touch, pressing into a corner of the stall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not going to hurt you,” Jaskier murmured, hands up to show he meant no harm. “I want to help.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t touch me.” Those were the first words the man had said and Jaskier’s heart broke. Especially as he watched how eyes scrunched up in pain and the man tipped his head back, the tendons of his neck tight and prominent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The want to help warred with not wanting to stress the other out in any way. Jaskier settled back, heedless of the dirty hay on the ground. “What’s your name?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cahir Mawr-” his words were cut off by another wave of pain and Jaskier was suddenly all too aware of what was happening. Especially when Cahir pressed a hand to his own stomach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay Cahir.” It wasn’t okay but Jaskier had no idea what to do. He’d never been present for a woman giving birth, let alone a man. “Is the baby coming?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tears sprang to Cahir’s eyes as he nodded. “I tripped.” What that had to do with anything was beyond Jaskier until Cahir lifted his shirt to reveal a blossoming bruise on his stomach. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another wave and Jaskier could see how Cahir bit the inside of his cheek. There was no way they could get to the portal. Even worse, if Jaskier tried to get closer, Cahir pressed into the corner, eyes fearful. So all Jaskier could do was sit there, he ended up averting his eyes, resolved to be there and do what he was allowed to. It turned out, there wasn’t a whole lot to do. Cahir was near silent, at most a choked off gasp escaped him. There was the smell of blood and the telltale sniffle of someone crying. Turning, Jaskier watched as Cahir cradled a far too small and far too still baby in his hands before lowering the body to the floor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s dead,” Cahir whispered, face blank.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Together, they clawed up the earth in the stall to bury the baby. Through it all, Cahir stayed quiet, kneeling and leaning a shoulder against a wall for support. While Jaskier’s hands were only coated in soil, Cahir’s had his own blood on them too. Wordlessly, he laid the baby into the shallow grave and pushed the soil back. Finally, they were done and Cahir slumped fully against the wall, clearly exhausted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it over?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s over,” Jaskier replied. “I’m going to get you to safety, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cahir simply nodded, he flinched a little when Jaskier stood and walked to him, scooping him up. For his height, Cahir didn’t weigh much and Jaskier walked them towards the portal where Yennefer was standing, looking impatient. Seeing them approach, her demeanour changed from annoyed to concerned and Jaskier subtly shook his head at her. He didn’t say anything about the silent tears soaking into the neckline of his shirt even as Cahir was perfectly still in his arms, barely even moving with each shallow breath. It made Jaskier vow to himself that he would do his best to reunite Cahir with his family so he could heal from the ordeal with those who loved and cared about him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Cahir finds himself invited into a new home and new family.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The farm Jaskier had destroyed was just the first. There were more of them and each time, Jaskier helped rescue the men. It was always men strangely. A late night conversation with Yennefer helped explain some of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a Stregobor thing,” she’d sighed. “He hates women, thinks they’re less than human.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But all these men, I’ve spoken to some of them.” The bottom of Jaskier’s tankard was rapidly reaching visibility. “They’re all ones deemed to have wronged Nilfgaard.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Swirling her own drink, Yennefer knocked it back. “Nilfgaard needed bodies to breed their army. This is punishment with gain.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At least the men had been able to return home, had families and friends waiting for them. The few who didn’t had offers of homes from others, stall neighbours or or ones they could talk to through the bars. All except one. Cahir seemed to have no one. He stayed in the safe haven where their liberated men were first sent to. Nobody other than Yennefer and Jaskier knew where it was, only accessible by a portal. As often as he could, Jaskier popped back to see those they’d rescued and also tried to escort them home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re from Vicovaro, right?” He’d asked Cahir one evening. The man was strangely silent, barely spoke and tried to keep to himself as much as possible. However, when prodded, he would answer in reluctant and brief sentences. To the question, he simply nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then why not go back there? Wouldn’t they want you back?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cahir scoffed and shook his head. “They couldn’t want me. Not since before I was born.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A strange phrasing, Jaskier put it down to a language barrier though Cahir seemed confident in speaking Common. Though, if it wasn’t his first language, the odd slipup was to be expected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It went without question that Cahir couldn’t return to his job. Whatever had happened to land him at the farm, there was no going back. Jaskier couldn’t let him languish though, alone and without anyone to help piece him back together. If nobody had space for Cahir in their life, he would make some in his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come home with me,” he said as if it was the most natural thing on earth. “I don’t exactly have a traditional family, it’s a bit patchwork. But they mean well. Even Lambert.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Perhaps Jaskier should have talked to Geralt first before offering Cahir to go home with him. As it was, he wasn’t asking for permission, he was telling Geralt as a courtesy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t watch him languish there anymore.” As far as reasons went, it was a pretty strong one, or so Jaskier thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was safe to say Geralt had a different opinion. “Did you not think about how this might impact on Ciri?” He was snarling. “That man terrorised her dreams for years. And now you want to bring him here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You never saw him Geralt!” Jaskier rounded on his boyfriend, just as angry. “You didn’t have to watch him miscarry in absolute, agonised silence. You didn’t help bury his child and watch how he looked almost relieved. You didn’t have to carry him to safety as he silently cried.” His hands were out and waving, trying to convey all the emotions. “So forgive me for giving a shit about someone who has nothing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the outburst, Geralt bared his teeth in anger but didn’t respond immediately. Finally, he growled, “He so much as upsets Ciri, he is gone. Back to Nilfgaard for all I care. And you tell Ciri he’s coming before he actually gets here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Telling Ciri was easier than anticipated. She listened and nodded along, so very reminiscent of Yennefer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So he doesn’t have a home?” Jaskier shook his head and watched as Ciri rested her chin on her hand in contemplation. “He doesn’t have a family?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He doesn’t have anyone or anything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a final, decisive nod, Ciri gave Jaskier the most serious look she could muster. “He can share ours then. It might stop him crying.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bringing Cahir home was a quiet affair with no pomp or fanfare. Yennefer had opened a portal and Jaskier went to collect him. Stepping into Kaer Morhen, Cahir looked around out of habit more than interest and Jaskier could see echoes of an army general in him before it disappeared again under the scrutiny of four witchers looking over him with barely hidden hostility and disdain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Head held high, Jaskier marched up to the witchers. “Cahir, these four idiots are Vesemir, Eskel, Lambert and Geralt. They’re like eggs. Hard shells but soft as fuck on the inside.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Welcome to Kaer Morhen.” At least Vesemir seemed to have some of his social skills still intact. “We’ve made up a room for you in the South wing.” As far from Ciri as possible, not that Cahir would know that. He’d probably figure it out eventually though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A quiet “thank you” was whisper soft but witcher hearing still picked up on it. Eskel was the one to break, never good at seeing someone in need or suffering, however silently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why don’t I show you to your room? You can let me know if you need any more furs or anything like that.” One look over Cahir spoke volumes about what he thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Behind them, Jaskier was already chastising the other two for being such brutes. Eskel could just about hear the “he gave Ciri nightmares, I can’t forgive him for that” from Lambert and he hoped the attitude would change. Especially when Jaskier snapped something about using those witcher-y sense and sniffing out a lie if there was one. Out of instinct, Eskel took a subtle sniff of the air. The only thing Cahir smelled of was hollow misery.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Opening the door to the room, Eskel gestured, “This is it. I hope it’s alright.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t much but at least it was a bed and a fire for heat. Plus a couple of furs for additional warmth. Watching Cahir take a step in, Eskel stayed silent, giving him all the time he needed. A hand trailed along the edge of the bed, fingers light and hesitant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you need anything else, you can let me know.” Eskel realised that, as empty as the room was, it was now everything Cahir had. He’d arrived with nothing more than the obviously borrowed clothes on his back, hastily hemmed in to make them vaguely fit and nothing more. While Eskel didn’t have much himself, he was certain he could spare a couple of books and trinkets to make Cahir feel a little more at home. “The dining hall is down two sets of stairs then turn left and follow the corridor round to the right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He made to close the door and watched as Cahir lurched towards it, a hand briefly shooting out. It had Eskel freezing mid motion until Cahir quietly spoke up. “Could the door stay open? Please?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your door, you do as you want with it. The keep is free for you to explore but the North wing has bedrooms too so you probably don’t want to be nosing around those.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What was unexpected was when Eskel went to retrieve Cahir for dinner, the door had been completely removed and moved into the far corner of the room. At a loss for how to make his presence politely known, Eskel stood in the empty doorframe and waved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Knock knock.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eskel.” The greeting was as softly spoken as before and Cahir approached him rather than invite him in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you might like to come down to dinner with me. Jaskier will be there too.” As would the others but they were harder work to win over, despite Eskel showing an inclination to be nice until proven otherwise. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Only Lambert and Vesemir were in the dining hall as they walked in. They both looked at Eskel and Cahir before picking up their conversation again. It gave Eskel a chance to steer them to the table, offering the seat next to him to Cahir. They heard Jaskier before saw him, humming and, by the sounds of it, either skipping or dancing. With him, both were equally likely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wonderful!” He greeted with a happy little bounce. “I was wondering whether I’d have to come and entice you out but Eskel has already had the pleasure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was when Lambert decided to take an interest in Cahir.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long did Nilfgaard have you?” Insensitive questions were his usual but this was a rough introductory question even by his standards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Subconsciously, Cahir ran a hand over his throat which would likely forever bear evidence of his captivity. “They had me at the farm for over three years-” Eskel winced at that, “-but my parents gave me to Nilfgaard when I was about 10.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gave you?” Lambert spluttered. Children weren’t a commodity to be given away. Before he would be answered, Geralt appeared with Ciri in tow. She stepped into the dining hall and eyed Cahir curiously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The table shuddered as Cahir pushed away from it, staring right back at Ciri. A hand was pressed to his stomach and no witcher senses were needed to see the heartbreak on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You.” Tears brimmed, threatening to fall. Nobody dared move and Geralt was poised to spirit Ciri away at the first sign of trouble. The last thing anyone expected was for Cahir to take the nearest exit, a fist pressed against his mouth to hold a sob in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Lambert who got up with a gruff “I got this” as intrigue won out over confusion. It meant the others could reassure Ciri that she hadn’t done anything wrong. Lambert wasn’t any good at that stuff, it was easier to confront a stranger. He followed the scent to tears which seemed to take corridors at random until the trail dissipated in the courtyard. Not that Lambert had to work hard to find Cahir, despite being silent by human standards, he still made enough noise to be easy enough to locate, huddled in a corner, shivering in the cold as well as the silent, heaving sobs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The fuck was that about?” Lambert asked as he sat next to Cahir, ignoring how the other pulled away from him. Tension seeped through the silence. “Seriously though. Ciri isn’t scary, I promise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s Princess Cirilla?” A broken little laugh escaped Cahir.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Didn’t you know that already? Thought you were hunting her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cahir’s breath hitched at that. “How did you know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Scratching the back of his neck, Lambert wondered whether this was his information to share. But fuck it, he chose to come after Cahir, if the others had an issue with how he handled it, that’s their problem. “Did you never have dreams?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only since-” Cahir’s hand drifted to his stomach. “I thought she-” a hiccough of a sob cut him off. “She might be mine.” Fresh tears ran down Cahir’s cheeks. “That maybe my last would be a girl by some miracle. She even learned the lullaby.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was something Lambert was absolutely not equipped to deal with. He thought he would be coming out to find Cahir livid, maybe raging about how they ought to hand Ciri over to Nilfgaard. Instead, he got heartbreak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When my last was a boy-” the floodgates were open and Cahir was talking, Lambert almost wished he would stop, “-I thought I’d get left behind, to go through it again, for the ninth time. Because it wasn’t her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ninth time. Lambert’s chest squeezed at the thought that Cahir had eight children, likely not knowing the fate of seven of those. He couldn’t even imagine what it would be like and shuddered at the thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yennefer will probably want to know about it.” Absolutely the worst thing to say but Lambert was not the one to talk about such things. He never had to deal with pregnancy in anyone or its subsequent complications. Hell, even Eskel would have been better for such a conversation. At least his comment seemed to stop the words as Cahir hugged his knees to his chest, looking so fragile, Lambert actually felt bad. “I mean, it sucks what you had to go through. But you’re here now and things can only get better, right? It’s not like any of us can knock you up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So tactful,” Yennefer’s voice cut through the air. She was bundled up in furs and had another draped over her arm. “Lambert, go and eat. I don’t want to hear you complaining that the others ate all the best bits.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beating a hasty retreat, Lambert looked over his shoulder just in time to see Yennefer delicately sit down in the spot he had just vacated and pass the spare fur to Cahir.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He means well but has the social skills of a brat raised by pigs.” Yennefer watched as Cahir ran his hand through the fur absentmindedly. “You should put that on if we’re staying out here a lot longer.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slowly, Cahir pulled the fur cloak around his shoulders and sighed into it as the biting cold was kept at bay.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Got nothing to apologise for,” Yennefer replied quickly. “You really have eight kids in three years?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cahir nodded and she pressed on. “What was it like?” Her curiosity was tinged with a hint of wistfulness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Horrible. Everything hurts, you’re tired all the time and need to piss every five minutes. Then you have unending hours of agony and they take the baby away, leave you alone in a mess but they’d already got the next one in you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had Yennefer wincing, all hints of longing gone in a blink. “How barbaric.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No wonder Cahir looked so worn and frail, it sounded like an absolute nightmare. They sat in silence for a while, Yennefer staring out into the courtyard while Cahir’s head was bowed. At least the tears had stopped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want food?” Finally, Yennefer had enough and broke the quiet. She still didn’t look at Cahir but he raised his head, eyes staring out into the courtyard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ciri will be there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They walked back into the dining hall where silence fell as they approached. Eskel shuffled over and opened up a spot between him and Lambert, gesturing for Cahir to sit. There was a plate loaded with food pushed towards him too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We saved you the best bits,” Ciri piped up and Cahir shot her a watery smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dig in.” It was Vesemir who encouraged him and, slowly, everyone else began to pick up where they had left off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wedged between Lambert and Eskel, Cahir hesitantly picked at his food. Nobody seemed to take exceptional offence at his freakout earlier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Try the dumplings, Cahir,” Jaskier called from the other side of the table. “They are some of the best I’ve ever had. Eskel’s a master in the kitchen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t play it down, he’s a master not just in the kitchen.” Lambert leered. A foot connected with Cahir’s shin and he jolted, almost dropping the dumpling he’d picked up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sheepishly, Geralt looked up. “Sorry. I was aiming for Lambert.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Waving the apology off, Cahir turned his focus to the dumpling. He didn’t know whether it was truly as amazing as promised or whether he’d not had such food in so long, even if it had been slop it would have tasted like the best thing on earth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of dinner passed relatively smoothly. Even as plates emptied, people hung around, content to chatter away. Eskel was used to leaning against Lambert and had to work hard at remembering that Cahir was between them. When Ciri started yawning, he huffed in amused indulgence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Time for bed, little one?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll read you a story,” Lambert volunteered. Everybody pretended not to know that he and Ciri had a bedtime routine involving a pillowfort, a late night tea party for her cuddly toys and a secret snack of warm honeyed milk along with a square of chocolate which Lambert saved just for her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Getting up, Ciri bid goodnight to everyone with her customary hugs. After a moment’s hesitation, she even gave Cahir a hug, wishing him a good first night. Obviously, she had learned all her manners from Yennefer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taken aback by the hug, Cahir looked a little misty eyed but nobody commented on it. He excused himself for an early night soon after, overwhelmed and uncertain of his true welcome.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Vesemir tells a little white lie and the family gains two new members.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Breakfast was a quiet affair and Jaskier was a little disappointed to find that Cahir was missing. However, Vesemir had given him a firm shake of his head when he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s still sleeping. I’ve put some food to the side for when he wakes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What he didn’t mention was that he’d been by Cahir’s room with every intention of waking him for breakfast. Only, when he peered through the empty doorframe, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Cahir had huddled into a corner on the floor, protectively clutching a pillow to his chest and was shivering in his sleep. The furs were on the bed and the fire looked like it hadn’t even been lit. So Vesemir had quietly draped the furs over Cahir. Tugging at the pillow was met with a distressed whine and a gentle axii was the only thing that had settled him back to sleep. As much as Vesemir hated using the sign on people, this was an exception. He set the fire going again and left Cahir to sleep a little more comfortably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took Cahir a couple of hours to wake and appear in the dining hall, dressed in the previous day’s clothes. Vesemir greeted him quietly and passed him a bowl of honey laden porridge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The others are in the hot springs while Yennefer teaches Ciri in the courtyard.” He watched as Cahir wolfed down the food without really tasting it, as if scared it would be snatched from him any moment. It was something Vesemir had seen in his own wolves after a harsh year on the Path so he could handle it with tact. “There’s more if you’d like. Why don’t I show you where the kitchen is? Then you can help yourself to snacks whenever you get hungry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once that was done, Vesemir led Cahir down to the hot springs where the others were frolicking around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s private baths around the corner,” Jaskier pointed towards a hidden corner of the room. “Not everyone is an exhibitionist like me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The choice was obviously a tough one and Eskel watched Cahir stand awkwardly at the edge, weighing up his options. No doubt he probably would have preferred something private but he didn’t want to be alone and likely didn’t trust what was around the corner or the fact that he would be left alone. In the end, Cahir started stripping by a bench and the others tried not to watch. First to go were the trousers and Geralt gave up on pretending he wasn’t eyeing up the newcomer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that where I kicked you?” Looking down at his own shin, Cahir shrugged. There was a large, deep bruise mottling his skin, the middle of it raised in a visible bump. “Fuck. It was meant for Lambert.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got some cream that will help sooth it,” Jaskier piped up. If Geralt was already being an idiot, he could at least offer a bit of relief. “Witchers like to forget we’re only soft and squishy humans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cahir pulled his shirt over his head but kept it clutched to his stomach, feeling self conscious when the others in the pool all looked like perfect male specimens. He hesitated, wanting to hide from the curious looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I ever tell you about the time I found a frog in here?” Eskel asked pointedly. “It was over there.” He gestured towards the far end of the hot springs and Cahir gratefully took the distraction for what it was. It didn’t mean the others didn’t see his stretch marks and everything else eight pregnancies had left him with, but at least they were more subtle about it. Sinking into the warm water, he sighed a little, unable to remember the last time he had warm water to wash in, let alone a bath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lambert was the first to turn to him. “I’ve got some clothes you can have, we’re about the same height. Have already brought some down in case you were going to join us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kindness was overwhelming and Cahir stared at the water in front of him, desperately willing the tears away. He had no idea why he was even crying really. It was Jaskier who settled next to him and patted his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You get used to it. They’re just like that. Eggs, I told you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That, at least, drew a wet laugh from Cahir and he wiped at his face. Another body settled at his other side but at a much more respectable distance. A quick glance revealed it to be Eskel, though he seemed quite busy with having a conversation with Lambert in purely facial expressions. Whatever it was about, it ended with Lambert hauling himself across the pool and sitting next to Eskel with a slight huff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time they were all starting to look like prunes, Cahir had relaxed enough to actually join in with some of the conversation. Geralt was the first to haul himself out, unfazed by his own nudity. None of the others seemed especially perturbed either though Jaskier did give a low, appreciative whistle. One by one, they all clambered out, Eskel even offered Cahir a hand and draped a towel over his shoulders all while his eyes were strictly above shoulders. Lambert had no such manners and he openly looked over Cahir, cataloguing the scars and everything else he saw - sagging skin, stretchmarks that refused to fade, wrinkles etc.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looking good,” he said with a wink and an appreciative smile. A towel smacked across his bare backside as Jaskier reprimanded him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Self-conscious, Cahir wrapped the towel around himself and watched as Lambert pulled two sets of clothes out, passing one over to him. “Let Eskel know if you need anything taken in, he and Vesemir are the best tailors around here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clothes were baggy on Cahir but was just grateful that he had clean clothes which were comfortable. It was more kindness than he’d been shown in so long, Cahir didn’t want to push his luck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over the next couple of days, Cahir languished. He shied away from company, barely left his room and the few times Vesemir had passed by, it looked like he had a pillow clutched to his chest. Whether it was hormones or trauma, it didn’t much matter. All Vesemir saw was someone hurting and he needed to do something about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going out to hunt,” he announced to no one at large and left, trusting the others to make sure the keep didn’t fall into sudden ruin - likely because Lambert was experimenting with explosive again while unsupervised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without Vesemir there, the routine of the day shifted a little. The kitchen became a free domain which they shared the chores for. While Geralt and Jaskier were on lunch duties, Eskel took over making dinner. He even roped Cahir into coming to help, the roaring fire in the kitchen helped keep even the harshest of colds at bay. It meant Lambert was likely to be loitering, trying to pilfer anything freshly chopped or interesting. Though Eskel grumbled at him and they made a game of outwitting each other, they both encouraged Cahir to sample anything he took fancy to, in the hopes of helping him gain a bit more weight. They ended up with a sous chef in the form of Ciri too, even if she was more of a hindrance than a help, she and Lambert made a wonderful team for one person distracting Eskel while the other stole treats to share.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you grow your hair out again?” Ciri asked Cahir out of the blue as she shared her haul of berries with Lambert. After a moment’s hesitation, she pushed some towards Cahir too. “You looked nice with longer hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hand raised subconsciously to run through the short mess that was Cahir’s hair. He looked absolutely taken aback and the others had no idea how to remedy the situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you know I used to have longer hair?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The dreams. Before you go sad, you were very evil.” The honesty of a child was both refreshing and damning. It had Cahir offer a sad, weak smile. “You shouted a lot and were covered in blood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry about that.” Cahir actually looked sorry. He shot Lambert and Eskel a cautious look. “I don’t want to hurt you, I promise. If I’d known you were in those dreams too, I wouldn’t have yelled.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What were you yelling at?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no point in pretending they weren’t listening so Lambert and Eskel didn’t even bother trying to hide it. Setting aside chopping knives, they turned to give Cahir their full attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Monsters.” A blatant lie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ciri,” Eskel cut in. “Why don’t you go and get the dagger Jaskier gave you, I think you’ll be able to chop things better with that than the knives.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As obvious as the ploy was, it worked as Ciri got excited about being allowed to chop things finally. She had pestered for it before but had only been allowed to stir things until then. With her gone, Eskel looked to Cahir.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cornered, Cahir felt he had no other option but to tell the truth. “I don’t know. Everything and nothing, tendrils and branches and tentacles and hands all reaching out. In the centre of it was always a shock of light hair. Thought it was the silver of the White Wolf but I know better now.” All he knew was that he had to get to the person in the middle, had to fight his way through all the monstrosities which tore at his flesh. He never succeeded in getting anywhere close but each dream he was forced to try or endure an even more prolonged agony.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before the conversation could continue, heavy footsteps approached as Vesemir returned. He looked solemn, coat still wrapped tightly around himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a buck out front that will need bringing in,” he said by way of greeting to Lambert and Eskel before stopping in front of Cahir. “As for you, I need your help with these.” Vesemir opened up his cloak to reveal two chunky wolf pups. “Mother got caught in the side by an elk. Couldn’t leave the pups to die. They’re your responsibility now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like that, he passed the two wriggling, warm bundles of fur over to Cahir and walked out. “Use a nanny goat for milk, Eskel will help you,” he threw over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A beat of silence followed his departure and Cahir blinked down at the pups. It seemed he had new responsibilities. While Eskel helped him with setting up a pen for them in his bedroom and also the dining hall where they liked to all gather, Lambert went to deal with the buck Vesemir had mentioned. He never spoke of the wolf that lay next to the buck, an arrow straight through her heart. Quietly, a new fur pelt was added to the pile and Vesmir nodded at him in acknowledgement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Raising wolf pups turned out to be hard work. Cahir had his hands full as he tried to feed them, help them with their toilet training and keep them from chewing everything within their sight. More than one bench in the dining hall had teeth marks along the legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re worse than Lambert for chewing!” Geralt observed, leaning over to watch a pup chew the bench but he didn’t do anything to stop it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He only chewed your arm once.” Eskel was the one to scoop the pup up and tickle her tummy to distract from the mischief. “And, if I remember correctly, you deserved it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The reply of “lies” was drowned out by a bark of laughter as Lambert backed into the hall playing with a pup, followed by Cahir who had the other wolf pup in his arms, sleepily suckling from a bottle. He looked tired but a little more settled. Having the wolves to look after certainly seemed to be helping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you given them names yet?” Jaskier took the pup from Eskel and looked at her. “This one looks like a Triss.” He got a smack to the arm for that but he simply giggled. “Okay, Yennefer?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No names.” That was something Cahir had insisted on. He called them pups, wolves, trouble, nightmares, and a whole host of other things under the sun. But never once did he give them names, no matter what the others suggested. It was a bit of a conversation topic when he wasn’t around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Late one evening, Yennefer joined them, flopping onto a couch near the fire after kicking Jaskier’s feet out of the way. She sighed, obviously there was some new but they had all learned not to press her on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yen,” Lambert wheedled, “talk some sense into him. Des and Troy are absolutely the best names for the pups.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Together they do not destroy.” Eskel pinched the bridge of his nose. “What’s wrong with names like Ada and Zoe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even Geralt groaned at that. “Peanut butter and Jelly, I tell you. That’s their names.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silent for a change, Jaskier gave Yennefer a cheerful shrug. He’d heard the arguments before and had been yelled at by all when he suggested One and Two as names. His lack of comment seemed to earn him a few brownie points in Yennefer’s books as she allowed him to plonk his legs back to where they were and into her lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you ever consider why he doesn’t want to name them?” Her question was met with shakes of heads. “Just think. Eight babies. He carried them for four and a half months each, watched them grow, sang to them, suffered for them. All ripped from him before he could bond with them.” Yennefer held up her hands to show eight fingers. “Eight heartbreaks. Do you think he trusts anything at the moment? Or doesn’t worry that the pups will be snatched away the moment he dares hope?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The others stared silently ahead as they mulled it over. They’d all come to know Cahir’s history, the horrors of his reality for the last three plus years. What words didn’t express, his behaviour and his body sure conveyed in full.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We won’t bug him about naming the pups,” Eskel muttered, staring into the fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Yennefer pulled herself upright. “I have other news. The mage behind the farms has been dealt with. Stregobor has been found guilty of crimes against humanity and has been stripped of his station. His research is in safe hands.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mutters went up around the group as they pondered the news. Finally, it was Jaskier’s voice that broke out of the hubbub.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t destroy it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We want to study his work. It won’t ever be used on unwilling test subjects though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was difficult to miss the way Jaskier twisted and gave Geralt a hopeful look. Whatever they had been discussing, it was obvious this played into Jaskier’s hand.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The seasons turn colder. Much much colder. And the wolves mess up somewhat fierce.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hissed arguments between Geralt and Jaskier had become commonplace. Whatever their disagreement was, it became obvious that they didn’t want an audience for it. Not even Lambert managed to eavesdrop on their heated discussions. It didn’t really matter though because he had better things to do like help raise the pups who had proven to be a handful over the weeks. Things came to a head with them when Cahir admitted to not really being able to sleep a lot because the pups liked to clamber over him when they woke in the middle of the night. Thus, Lambert volunteered to be a night nurse every other night. Really, what that meant was that he took the pups and Eskel woke up whenever the pups needed something because Lambert slept like the dead. However, there was also a side effect that he hadn’t quite anticipated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At first, Eskel had heard the heartbeat and the shuffling of a body in the corridor. It took him a little while to catch Cahir’s scent which was even more troubling. As far as everyone was concerned, Cahir was still in the South towers while they were all in the North. After the third night when Eskel woke to the pups and heard Cahir loitering, he opened the door with a grumble.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If only Cahir didn’t look so terrified. His breaths turned to small, rapid gasps and his heart thumped in his chest. Immediately, Eskel regretted being so gruff. At least the pups seemed to perk up as they pounced at Cahir’s bare feet. The stone must have been cold under them and Eskel hid a sympathetic wince. The weather had been turning cold, fires needed to be built higher and kept going through the day to make sure rooms didn’t get icicles in them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you need?” Eskel had half a mind to pick Cahir up and deposit him near a fire or somewhere his feet didn’t touch the floor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The pups. I-” Cahir’s voice shook and he looked down at his wolves. “They okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Softening, Eskel stepped closer, a hand reaching out without much thought. “They’re fine. They miss you but you should be resting. That’s why we have them these nights.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neither of them mentioned that the last three nights the pups had been with Lambert and Eskel, Cahir had lingered outside the door. Sighing, Eskel made a snap decision.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why don’t you come in?” Seeing the hesitation in Cahir, he softened a little. “We can leave the door open.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Watching Cahir slink in, nervous but desperate to see the pups, Esekl’s heart ached. He brought a throw over as Cahir settled close to the embers of the fire and cast a small igni to get the heat going again. As expected, the wolf pups clambered over Cahir who looked teary as he picked them up to cuddle. Their bottles were warmed by the fire and Eskel took one pup as Cahir took the other. By the time the bottles were empty, Cahir’s head was tipped back against the chair he’d been leaning against, lips parted on soft snores. There was no way it was going to be comfortable and Eskel helped ease him down onto the rug, pulling a throw over him and helping the pups tuck up against their surrogate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the morning, Eskel quieted Lambert with a kiss before nodding at the pile by the hearth. Sleep ruffled, Lambert sat up and looked, eyes widening then gaze going soft at the sight. He turned to Eskel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We shouldn’t banish him to the floor next time. Beds big enough for us all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was one of the many reasons Eskel loved Lambert, he had such an assured attitude about everything. Things like assuming that there would be a next time Cahir ended up in their bedroom and that he would be comfortable sharing a bed. Given how much of an octopus Lambert could be, Eskel made a mental note to have Cahir on his other side in case Lambert turned for a cuddle and it was unwelcome.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Getting up woke the pups and Cahir stirred too. He blinked around, disoriented but a pup butting its head against his nose helped with whatever building worry there had been. It didn’t stop Cahir from apologising. “Sorry. I’ll leave. Just-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just sit down and let us help with your brood,” Lambert cut in. He had no shame about getting up and revealing he was naked. Given the way Cahir’s eyes raked over him before being hastily averted, Lambert assumed that maybe it wasn’t quite such an unwelcome surprise as Eskel’s hissed chastising wanted to make it out to be. He pulled on trousers and one of Eskel’s shirts before plopping down by the hearth. Lazily, he threw a log onto it and a blast of igni had warmth pouring into the room again. “So, feeding?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully, while Lambert had been busy playing idiot, Eskel actually got the bottles ready for the pups. He handed the other two a bottle each and sat back to watch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was silent for a few minutes, save the noise of happy pups suckling. Still looking down, Cahir finally spoke up. “Everybody else sleeps in this wing.” He didn’t even bother phrasing it was a question, they all knew it was the truth anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All we knew of you were things from Ciri’s dreams and Jaskier’s words. And we all know Jaskier falls in love with almost everyone he finds. So we couldn’t exactly trust you.” Lambert’s bluntness wasn’t always a blessing but here it seemed to be appreciated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We had to protect Ciri. Then, by the time we realised you were, well, okay, you had already settled into your room and we felt silly for being so paranoid.” Eskel watched Cahir’s reaction as he explained but there was nothing. A blank expression staring down at the wolf pup in his arms and silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lambert was the one who waded in again. “Look, we protect our own. You were a gamble but I’m glad to say we were wrong and Jaskier was right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What would have happened if you didn’t like me?” The silence that stretched was enough of an answer and Cahir closed his eyes to hide the tears. “I think I’ll go back to my room now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neither Lambert nor Eskel tried to stop him as he gathered two wriggling pups into his arms and left with measured steps. He didn’t join them for breakfast though that was possibly for the better because the whole Geralt and Jaskier situation spilled into public domain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Things were already tense in the dining hall, Geralt resolutely staring at his porridge, jaws clenched while Jaskier was too quick to laugh and be loud. It was a classic argument set up for those two, one that everyone had seen often enough. And they all knew it would result in noisy make up sex when they stopped being idiots. Both were quite frustrating to hear for everyone not involved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Triss who took Ciri for morning training though it was probably more a lovely walk in the area and looking at flowers, maybe even picking them rather than anything too strenuous. Her lessons tended to be more life lessons than academic. Nobody actually minded. As soon as they were out of hearing range, Jaskier was turning to Geralt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re a great dad to her, it just proves my point.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s more than enough. I don’t need you to do that to prove we’re a family.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slowly, Eskel was beginning to understand. He kept turning his head to keep up with the two arguing. If he was right, Geralt and Jaskier were at odds about having a baby together. It all devolved into a full blown argument until Geralt slammed his spoon down on the table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want a baby with you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sudden silence engulfed the room and Jaskier blinked up at him, mouth open. But it wasn’t his usual dramatic gasp. This time he looked genuinely hurt. “I see.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gathered up his bowl and walked into the kitchen. Nobody dared move and the sounds of Jaskier washing up after himself was the only soundtrack to Geralt’s wide eyed stare. Cleaning done, there were a few long moments of painful, absolute silence. Even Lambert was frozen, fork half way to his mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck. Jaskier!” Geralt lurched into action. Despite not wanting to listen, everybody could hear the bitter words the two exchanged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You made yourself quite clear.” Jaskier’s voice was thick with emotions. “Maybe you’ll find someone else you want a baby with. If you’ll excuse me, I have work to get to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sounds of a slight scuffle and an indignant “let me go” from Jaskier ended with a sigh from Geralt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t mean it.” There was a scoff. “If I wanted a baby with anyone, it would be you. But I don’t want you going through dangerous experiments just for that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But if I want to?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another sigh, Geralt’s resigned click of his tongue and everyone strained to hear his response. It was quite a wait. “Talk to Cahir first. See if this is something you truly want. If you still want it, we can talk again. That’s assuming Yennefer would even help us get the spell.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Questioning eyes turned to Yennefer in the dining hall and she refused to give anything away, face passive as she continued eating her breakfast. Nobody said a word and there was the sound of kissing from the kitchen which they all valiantly ignored. After a little while, Jaskier emerged from the kitchen, holding Geralt’s hand and his eyes were red, eyelashes clumped from fresh tears. At least breakfast could be finished in peace and preparations for lunch were starting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ciri returned, cheeks red and wrapped tight in her coat, filled to the brim with new stories she’d heard from Triss. Winter was fast approaching but that year they weren’t expecting anyone to return home as they were all at Kaer Morhen already. In a way, they forgot that the seasons were changing, getting on with life and preparations for when the path up finally closed for a few months.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where are the pups?” Ciri asked, looking round. It had been hours since Cahir had returned to his room and Eskel felt guilty that they hadn’t gone to check on him, maybe even with a plate of food if he wasn’t feeling up to seeing everyone else.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll go see if we can bring them out, they’ll need time in the courtyard anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grabbing a plate of fruits, Eskel set off for the South wing, hoping he wouldn’t be met with a hostile or angry reaction. As he approached, he heard whining and howling which was never good. Hurrying his steps, he broke into a run, yelling for Lambert over his shoulder. Almost skidding into the doorframe, Eskel hurriedly left the plate on the bed as he rushed to Cahir. He was curled on his side in a corner, unresponsive as one of the pups tugged at his limp arm. Fear engulfed Eskel and it took him a moment to realise he could see his own breath in the air. The room was icy cold, removed from the main areas of the keep. More feet rushed towards them, not just Lambert but Jaskier and Yennefer too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Looking around, Eskel could all too easily see what had probably gone on. Upon returning to his room, Cahir had sunk into the corner furthest from the door and the safest so he could cry. There were icy tear tracks on his cheeks to prove that part at least. As he’d spent the night in Lambert and Eskel’s room, the fire had gone out and, being the only room in use in the South wing, all heat had rapidly dissipated. At least, in the North wing, if one fire went out the surrounding rooms helped keep things warm. So Cahir had returned, already distraught, to a cold room, sought the safety he could until the cold overwhelmed him. There was a log and kindling haphazardly thrown in the hearth and the flint wasn’t far either, obvious signs that there had been an attempt to light it. Shaking hands were likely unable to get a spark going and, at some point, Cahir had given up, curling in on himself to try and fight the cold. In a way, Eskel didn’t know whether it was worse knowing that Cahir tried to light a fire and failed or imagining the situation as if he hadn’t tried at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What was more important was the fact that Cahir’s heartbeat was almost witcher slow and he was unresponsive. His lips were blue and breaths barely visible as they curled through the cold air. The others piled in behind Eskel, Lambert scooping the pups out of the way and foisting them to Jaskier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit.” Ever eloquent, Lambert took in the situation as he swore. “Our room. Now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was all too easy to pick Cahir up and cradle him close to his chest as Eskel hurried to get them somewhere warmer. Worry gnawed at him that Cahir was so floppy and unresponsive. A blast of igni had the fire in their room erupting into a roaring flame, pouring out heat. It wasn’t enough though, Eskel knew how these things worked. Before he could think better of it, he was pulling throws and furs as close to the fire as he dared and plastering himself against Cahir, trying to warm him up. It was too warm and Eskel tried to ignore the prickle of sweat along his back, all focus on how cold and still Cahir was against his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the distance, he could hear Lambert yelling. While his words weren’t clear, Eskel could pick up on stray words enough to know just what was happening. Especially when things like “alone”, “freezing” and “worse than Nilfgaard” filtered through. They’d fucked up, all of them had. Usually, someone went around the rooms to check the fires were still burning and obviously they’d forgotten Cahir’s room. If Eskel was right, Geralt was in deep shit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How is he?” Jaskier’s voice was quiet and he hadn’t stepped into the room, lingering by the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Slowly warming.” While Cahir’s lips had lost their blue tinge and his heart was beating much more strongly and at a more human pace, he still hadn’t stirred at all. Glancing over his shoulder, Eskel looked at Jaskier but didn’t invite him in. Somehow, he didn’t think Cahir would react well to having more people than necessary crowding around him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! This one. I told you already! You lost the right to argue.” Lambert was growling somewhere in the corridor. There was noise from the neighbouring room and Eskel quirked an eyebrow at Jaskier in question.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lambert’s making sure Cahir has a new room somewhere he can’t be forgotten about. Decided he and you are the only ones who can be trusted.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oddly, it made sense to Eskel. He felt guilty for not keeping track of Cahir more, for assuming that the others were picking up the slack. They were just as at fault as everyone else but now they were going to do better. Almost absentmindedly, Eskel ran a hand through Cahir’s hair which was slowly growing out. It earned him a soft huff and all of Eskel’s attention was diverted away from Jaskier and the noises from the room next door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A huff and a turn of the head was all Cahir did but it was still more than before. He also started trembling as his body began to try and warm up by itself. A good sign but Eskel knew firsthand how it could be painful. Sure enough, he felt Cahir seize against him as the aches made themselves known but not once did any noise, even a grunt, leave his lips. It was scary in a way and made Eskel want to hold him closer and rub his back. Giving in to the urge, he offered what little comfort he could, thinking back to what would have felt nice when he’d been in Cahir’s place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some time later the noises died down next door and Lambert wondered in, wolf pups at his heel, pouncing on each other. Without any fanfare, he plopped down by Eskel’s back, hand on his partner’s shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How’s he doing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One of the pups wriggled under Cahir’s arm with a whine and it was met with a small sigh as she was dragged closer. Slowly, Cahir’s eyes opened, hazy and unfocused but blinking back into awareness with each subsequent breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Immediately, Eskel’s attention was back on him, trying to hurriedly reassure. “You’re safe, you’re in mine and Lambert’s room. I’m going to let you go now as you’re warming up nicely.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Following through on his words, Eskel scooted back and tucked the furs around Cahir before flopping onto his back against the cooler stone with a groan. It had been far too warm for his liking and the ground was blissfully leeching away some of the heat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You could have left me.” For first words they were quite heartbreaking. Just when Eskel thought Cahir couldn’t break his heart any more, it was followed up with, “You should have left me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or you could accept that we like you and we’re sorry for fucking up this bad,” Lambert shot back. He wasn’t in the mood to take any kind of bullshit, especially not the fatalistic kind. It was a mindset he’d fought through before and knew he’d easily lapse back into, he didn’t want anyone to fall into such a bleak existence. “Your new room is next door to ours.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no effort from Cahir to sit up though he rolled from his side to his back so he could better see the other two. The wolf pup happily snuggled against his chest while the other sniffed and licked his neck and cheek. “I’ll be out of your hair soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or you could stay put and let us fuss over you.” Lambert pulled a tray from behind him with some warm cider. “Vesemir says you should drink this before even trying to do anything more than sit up. And that a warm broth is being made now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Next door, Jaskier was fussing with the last of the room’s decor. They had all chipped in to make it homely in their own way. Geralt had brought over a couple of pillows and a throw which had been made to match, setting them on the bed. To bring a bit of life to the room, Triss had a couple of potted plants sat on various surfaces. For his part, Jaskier brought a painting of the coast to hang on the wall, giving a bit more colour to the room. The coloured pots of salve were from Yennefer though she didn’t tell anyone what they were for. A wax sealed letter outlined the uses for Cahir and nobody else. Last but not least, Vesemir fixed a gate to the door. It meant the pups couldn’t get out but the door didn’t have to be closed. All in all, it actually looked more like a home than a temporary holding room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait!” Ciri rushed into the room before the gate could be closed. “I’ve got something for him too!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The others watched as she walked up to the bed and placed a tattered stuffed toy rabbit on the bed. “Bartnum will fight off his nightmares now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A little wet eyed, Jaskier pulled Ciri into a hug, proud of the girl. He cast Geralt a look over her head and was content that he didn’t get a glare in turn. There was a definite softening in his stance to their arguments.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Never leave Lambert and Eskel in charge of giving a gift. They're worse than a cat bringing home a dead mouse.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Despite the room and everyone trying their hardest to make Cahir feel welcome, there was still a rift. In a way, they went above and over, someone always finding him and inviting him along for something or other. Eskel had the most success whenever he invited Cahir to the library to sit quietly together. The others were quick to take the pups off his hands for those precious few hours. Some days Yennefer joined them too, quietly flipping through a tome. Their silence was interrupted by Ciri barging into the library, looking windswept and energetic as she made a beeline for Cahir.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Geralt was telling me you were a General in the Nilfgaardian army. Will you teach me how to fight like a Nilfgaardian?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Manners.” Eskel spoke without even looking up from his book.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The lack of reply had Yennefer glancing up. She could see how Cahir had a hand pressed against his stomach as he looked at Ciri with shock.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think I could teach you anything a Witcher couldn’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The gentle rejection had Ciri deflating a little. She turned big, sad eyes at him. “I want to learn from a human. They’re all too big and strong for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It would have been a lie to say that Eskel didn’t feel a sting at the comment. He knew Ciri didn’t mean it, not like all the vitriolic comments from villagers about the lack of a witcher’s humanity. But it still hurt a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe another day,” Yennefer interrupted. “Why don’t you go ask Jaskier about throwing daggers?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pouting, Ciri nodded but she trotted off, trying to be content with throwing things at a target while Jaskier watched and Geralt despaired. As soon as the door closed Yennefer was fixing Cahir with an assessing look. “You still in pain?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been weeks.” It wasn’t an outright answer but reading between the lines made it obvious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eskel, leave us.” The command from Yennefer was firm and allowed for no argument. Eskel’s gaze flitted between the two of them before slowly getting up and putting his book back onto the shelf.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He can stay. I don’t mind.” Somehow, the idea of sending Eskel away after he’d been so kind of late made Cahir want to cry, especially when he wasn’t being completely honest with them. “It’s not like I have anything to hide.” Because if he did, the others might assume he was up to no good and that would mean...Cahir didn’t much want to think about it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a beat, Yennefer shrugged. It was Cahir’s business and not hers so she ploughed on. “I only know the theory, never experienced it myself.” But she had done so much wishful research, burying herself in texts about the good and the bad. And expert in every aspect except for firsthand experience. “Given how they treated you, I don’t think you ever got the postpartum delights. But it takes 6 weeks to get back to your usual. Until then you can have bleeding, aches, mood swings.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sore chest?” A quiet, embarrassed question that could easily be ignored. “They um- they-” Cahir couldn’t quite finish the question.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Leak? Absolutely normal.” Yennefer waved it off and there was a flash of relief in Cahir’s face. “Only push on them until they’re comfortable again, don’t empty.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Confused but trying to be supportive, Eskel settled within arm’s reach of Cahir and listened to the conversation. Yennefer asked about the salves she left for Cahir in his room and nodded along as she was given feedback on them, they weren’t hurting, the marks seemed to maybe be fading from his hips and stomach. The one that snagged Eskel’s attention was the one about bruising. They’d all seen the deep purples and blacks on Cahir’s stomach in the hot springs and Jaskier had told them that Cahir had fallen. But something didn’t quite add up in it all. Especially with how cagey Cahir seemed to get but, then again, Eskel couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to talk about a miscarriage. He reached out to reassure Cahir with a squeeze to the arm and tried not to be disappointed when his touch was flinched away from.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The almost panicked plea had Yennefer’s eyes narrowing. “Why not?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t-” Cahir swallowed thickly, eyes wide, “I don’t deserve it.” Which was just about the most ridiculous thing Eskel had ever heard. Everybody deserved comfort in a way that suited them. If Cahir didn’t want to be touched, fine. But if he thought he didn’t deserve it, that was a whole other matter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not?” Yennefer repeated again. It looked like she was calculating and weighing up her options. The hairs on the back of Eskel’s neck stood up as Chaos stirred in the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cahir looked ready to break. “I’m a murderer!” They kind of already knew that, though Eskel didn’t think that was how he would phrase it. Nobody went to war and came back with hands free of blood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were in the army. We knew that already.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!” Cahir shook his head, eyes squeezed shut. His hand fell to his stomach again. “I didn’t fall. I couldn’t give up another baby. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sobs garbled anything else Cahir had to say and Eskel moved without much thought. He surged up and pulled Cahir into a hug, holding him tight. It was how he heard the frantic whispers of “he would be alive and here if I hadn’t. I killed him.” Really, Eskel couldn’t blame Cahir. The thought of having another child torn from his arms and thrust into who knew what kind of life would have driven Eskel mad with grief and worry. He dared take a look at Yennefer whose face was perfectly blank, devoid of all emotion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t,” Cahir whimpered and Eskel did the only thing he could, he pulled Cahir into his lap on the floor and rocked them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yen, could you get the pups please?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without a word, Yennefer strode out. Usually the wolf pups weren’t allowed in the library but exceptional circumstances called for broken rules. The clatter of claws on the old stone signalled the arrival of the pups, legs getting long and gangly as they grew. Behind them, Lambert slipped into the library and closed the door with a soft click. He looked over Eskel and the way he held Cahir, Yennefer hadn’t been wrong, this was a crisis like never before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Subtly Eskel shook his head and Lambert sat down next to him. Without hesitation he reached out to rub Cahir’s back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mind if I tell him?” Eskel asked and Cahir mumbled that they deserved the truth. So, as tactfully as he could, Eskel relayed the facts, watching as Lambert’s eyes widened, glancing to Cahir.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His mouth opened then closed, words not feeling like they were enough but Lambert didn’t have much else. So he tried again, drawing a breath. Nothing came and his heart broke all over again as Cahir mumbled hiccoughed apologies.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh sweetheart,” Lambert said in the end. “I’m so sorry you felt you had no other choice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just hoped that if the baby died, they would kill me for failing.” As gently as possible, Lambert shuffled forwards on his knees and wrapped around Cahir’s other side in a hug. “Are you going to kill me now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both Lambert and Eskel held him tighter, tripping over themselves to reassure him that they didn’t judge him, didn’t think less of him. Over the top of Cahir’s head they exchanged a look of worry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But you don’t like me now.” It was so broken, Lambert didn’t think his chest could squeeze any tighter. He was wrong. “But I don’t want to die anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There, on the library floor, it finally felt like the last walls were coming down, Cahir had nothing left to hide. In fact, he had nothing left. When Yennefer stepped in an hour later, Cahir was still limply pressed between Lambert and Eskel but at least he was all cried out and listening as the other two murmured reassurances. They weren’t the best at it, witchers weren’t known for their skill with kind words but they were trying their best. All three of them watched and one of the wolf pups even growled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“None of that,” Cahir groused at her and drew her attention away from Yennefer. “I guess the others know now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not my truth to tell.” Shrugging, Yennefer didn’t smile. “Can’t say I understand or agree with your actions but that doesn’t mean I’ll broadcast it to the world.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Still too soft and timid, Cahir’s voice barely carried over the space between them. “I should probably tell them.”</span>
  <span></span>
    <br/>
  
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Eskel squeezed Cahir’s shoulder in reassurance. As promised, he and Lambert would be there with him and protect him if anyone tried anything stupid. Though, privately, Eskel suspected that Yennefer would always be the most difficult one about the topic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll help,” he murmured to Cahir and Lambert eagerly backed him up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the end, quietly telling the others individually and in private worked out okay. Cahir had asked for help with it because he couldn’t face voicing it over and over again. Over the course of the next day or two, one by one, the residents of Kaer Morhen walked past Cahir and either bumped shoulders or nodded, making sure he knew that they were still on his side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were all out in the training area a week later, Eskel running them through warm-ups while trying to hide his own yawns when Ciri’s face lit up as she looked not at Eskel but towards the entrance to the courtyard. Turning, even Eskel had to smile. Somewhat nervous, Cahir stood there in borrowed training armour, his fingers tightly linked with Lambert’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Got you a new teacher, Little Spark,” Lambert called. “Try and remember your manners and not be a brat on your first session.” She merely rolled her eyes at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve not done this in years.” From anyone else, it would have sounded like excuses in anticipation of a poor performance. But from Cahir, they all knew it was the truth. All it meant was that they were patient as he tried to lead them through some Nilfgaardian training forms. While his stamina was lacking, muscle memory kicked and they moved through the forms with increasing fluidity. Perhaps the person most surprised by it all was Cahir himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After about an hour, Cahir flopped onto the stone steps next to Jaskier and Yennefer, trying to catch his breath. A waterskin was pressed into his hand. Embarrassingly, the others kept going, even Ciri. At least Jaskier didn’t seem to mind having new company. He and Yennefer had a habit of trading barbs on the sidelines as a way to cement their friendship.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you’re up for it, I’d like to pick your brains on an issue.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me finish my drink and I’ll see if I can help,” Cahir replied. He didn’t miss the way Jaskier looked a little sheepish.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe in private? My questions are quite personal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The look Cahir sent him was one that spoke volumes. As far as Cahir was concerned, he had nothing left to hide or be embarrassed about. “Ask away.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s it like? Being pregnant?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of all the conversation topics, that was the one Cahir hadn’t been expecting at all. He cleared his throat and took another sip of water to stall. There was no denying that the witchers were all trying their best to subtly hide that they were eavesdropping.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want to know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The good and the bad,” Jaskier replied, eyes big as he tried to show he was fully dedicated to listening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not much good in it, not for me anyway.” It was a bitter start. “I’ve always heard that the kid at the end made it all worth it but, well, you know.” Some things didn’t need to be spelled out over and over again. “As for the pregnancy, I hated it. Would never do it again, even if someone paid me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When pressed, Cahir repeated a lot of what he’d told Yennefer about what he had endured. Though he tried to be quiet and discrete, it was obvious that the others were listening too. At least it wouldn’t be a topic that came up again around the dinner table. No detail was spared and Cahir finished off with a question of his own. “I doubt you wanted all this information for shits and giggles. So why ask?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Jaskier’s turn to look a little self-conscious. Just when it looked like he might not answer, he finally looked Cahir in the eye. “Because I’d like to have a baby with Geralt. And we want to know whether it’s worth it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For me? It’s not worth it, not at all. But for others, it might be. You need to do what’s right for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lambert flopped down on Cahir’s other side, completely giving up on the pretence of not listening in. He squirmed closer, offering what physical reassurance he could when his words failed him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you be upset if I had a baby?” Jaskier was so earnest in his question. “I don’t want you to be upset or uncomfortable.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As sweet as the question was, Cahir didn’t exactly have much choice. He couldn’t really tell Jaskier what to do with his own body, the mere idea of that sent waves of nausea rolling through him. So if Jaskier wanted a baby, he would have it. Which meant that should Cahir be uncomfortable with it, they would have to either make sure they never encountered each other (impossible in Kaer Morhen) or one of them would have to leave. And given that this was Jaskier’s family and home around them, as the newcomer, Cahir would be the one having to leave. It wasn’t like he had anywhere he could go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You do what makes you happy,” he said in the end. “Don’t let anyone else take that from you, no matter their reason.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The tension of the moment was broken by Lambert leaning in and nosing at Cahir’s neck, licking just behind his jaw. It made Cahir squirm away with a noise caught in his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell? That’s disgusting!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no remorse in Lambert’s expression as he grinned openly. “Just checking.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Under the sweat he could taste the stress and worry that had soured Cahir’s scent. Plus the herbs Yennefer had given him to help with any lingering pains. While Lambert wasn’t usually a fan of sorceresses, he had to give it to her, she and Triss sure knew their shit. Thinking about them and also what Cahir had said gave Lambert an idea. He would have to run it by Eskel and then they would need to present a united front to Yennefer but it would be worth it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Initially, Eskel was resistant to Lambert’s plan. However, the more he watched Cahir and listened not just to his words but the silences as well, the more he began to be swayed. That was the start. Naturally, Jaskier picked up on the fact they were scheming and wanted in, which only dragged Geralt into the mess too. It meant that they could approach Yennefer as a united front, with someone infinitely more talented with words than either Eskel or Lambert.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When you were robbed of your ability to bear children, didn’t you seek revenge?” Jaskier asked, impassioned and unerring with his point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s different.” Despite her words, Yennefer didn’t sound quite so sure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How? They took something from you. Made you into something you didn’t ask to be.” There was no arguing with that logic and Yennefer nodded. “You wouldn’t deny Cahir his chance to get closure, would you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two weeks. That was how long Yennefer asked for. She had Triss on her side and they walked through a portal to get things in motion. It wasn’t going to be cheap or easy but they all felt they owed it to Cahir in some shape or form.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Three days before the two weeks were up, Yennefer nodded at Lambert.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This evening. In the basement.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A flurry of excitement swept through Kaer Morhen. Even Ciri picked up on it despite not knowing what was going on. No amount of pestering from her revealed anything other than “it’s adult business”. Even Lambert refused to say anything more than “sometimes justice isn’t enough to heal”.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Evening finally rolled round. Lambert grabbed Cahir by the wrist and led him eagerly towards the basement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We got you something.” He was all but bouncing, trying to hurrying them along. A little more sedate, Eskel followed them, quietly hopeful they had done the right thing. This was Cahir’s chance to seek justice and revenge on his own terms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They walked into the basement where the others were gathered by the edge of the room. In the middle was an older man, shackled and on his knees. The dimeritium cuffs on his wrists gave away the fact he was a mage.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cahir,” Jaskier stepped forward with a small smile. “This is Stregobor. He’s the mastermind behind the breeding programme.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then why is he here?” The genuine confusion in Cahir’s voice had the others hesitating.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ummm….carte blanche revenge?” Lambert offered up. “We’ll just leave the room. And we’ll even clean up once you’re done.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay. Please clean up then.” Cahir replied, nodded and turned to walk out of the room, wolves at his heels. Behind him, Lambert was the one to utter “the fuck?” while Stregobor laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Jaskier who ran after Cahir, seeking clarification. Everyone else cast each other awkward looks of not understanding. Lambert was a little deflated, disappointed that their gift had been rejected so readily. All through it, Stregobor chuckled and shook his head. Each time he looked up, he was sent into another fit of laughter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Someone shut him up,” Eskel growled and Yennefer gestured. A muzzle gagged Stregobor none too kindly. Finally, Jaskier returned, looking thoughtful and all eyes turned to him in question.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well-” he rubbed the back of his neck and laughed a little, “-he is definitely a better person than me.” A cry of confusion went up and Jaskier had to hold a hand in the air to silence everyone. “He’s not saying Stregobor shouldn’t be punished but anything that could happen to him here is easier and kinder than being locked up, even if the cell is more comfortable than anyone had at the farms.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The muffled laughter from Stregobor stopped and he looked at Jaskier with wide eyed horror. It didn’t stop Jaskier from continuing. “So, and I quote, we can cart his saggy arse back to whatever shithole we excavated him from.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All in all, it was terribly anticlimactic. Lambert had anticipated something else. He wasn’t sure what but it definitely wasn’t Yennefer shoving a bound and unharmed Stregobor through a portal. At least Cahir could have yelled and berated Stregobor, worked some of his anger out that way if he didn’t want to outright kill the man. He and Eskel trudged back to their room, wondering whether all the effort had been worth it. As one, they stepped past their door and paused by Cahir’s gate, knocking on the doorframe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From within the room, Cahir’ head snapped up. He had his face buried in one of the wolves’ fur while the other was lying, pressed flat against his leg, chin on his thigh and staring balefully up at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“May we come in?” Eskel asked. He watched as one of the wolves licked the tears from Cahir’s cheeks. Having been given an answering nod, Eskel opened the gate and froze when the other wolf growled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A hand on the wolf’s back stopped the growling but she still looked quite tense. “What kind of monster do you think I am?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Such a question took the two off guard and they looked a little ashamed. Lambert was the one who ended up stumbling over his words for an explanation. “The kind that we are. In your place, I would have ripped his throat out with my bare hands.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Which didn’t sound good at all. Eskel winced but nodded along, it was a sentiment he shared with Lambert. Hell, he wanted to still do that, avenge Cahir by killing Stregobor and not slowly either.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not my justice to exact,” Cahir replied. “The people who ran the farm? Who tormented me daily? Maybe I’d have done different with them. But I’ve never seen Stregobor in my life.” The wolf licked at his chin and whined softly. “My revenge doesn’t make all the hundreds of others feel any better.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shamed, Eskel hung his head and Lambert looked around the room helplessly. Neither of them had felt more like brute than ever before. It would be right that Cahir didn’t want them near again, was disgusted by their assumptions and behaviour.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We just wanted to get you something to help,” Lambert mumbled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a beat, it looked like Cahir was steeling himself for something so the other two braced themselves too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you. You know what would really help though?” Both Lambert and Eskel shook their heads. They were almost quivering with anticipation and worry. “A kiss.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not at all what they were expecting. The lines of their relationship had been blurred already, they were a lot more tactile with Cahir than anyone else. It was an unspoken thing blossoming between them shyly, without any kind of formal acknowledgement. However, it was a silent fact everyone at Kaer Morhen accepted that, on some level, Cahir was Lambert and Eskel’s as much as they were his. To ask for a kiss made things a little more clear cut.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The wolf growled again as Lambert dropped to his knees next to Cahir in haste. He reached for Cahir slowly, half expecting to be shied away from.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You get a two for one kind of deal with us,” he warned, leaning in. Eskel was on Cahir’s other side, trying to ignore the wolf giving him a flat stare.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” Cahir replied, “I was kind of hoping for that.” He leaned in to close the distance between their lips in a soft, dry kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As tempting as it was to push for more, Lambert stopped himself short of licking against Cahir’s lips and pulled away instead. It was Eskel’s turn and he balanced precariously over the wolf in order to get to Cahir. Before it could get too intimate, Cahir pulled away, blushing somewhat fierce.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was worried I’d forgotten how to do this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t.” Eskel smiled and rubbed their noses together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A little braver, Lambert squeezed between Cahir and the wolf, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “Not in the slightest.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Could it finally be baby time? Jaskier certainly thought it would be easier and quicker.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Preparing the spell took a little while. Plus, Jaskier needed to drink a potion to go with it. Vaguely, Cahir remembered a foul tasting concoction he had been forced to drink but never really understood its significance until Jaskier was chattering away about it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yennefer says she can probably alter the taste to make it palatable.” Jaskier was bouncing in his seat in excitement. “I have a delicate stomach, don’t want to be throwing it up before it can do its job.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lambert pressed up against Cahir’s side as Jaskier chattered away. He couldn’t imagine it was easy for him to hear someone excited about something Cahir himself had been forced through. However, Cahir seemed almost indulgent as he smiled at Jaskier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just wait until the cravings hit. We won’t be able to pry you out of the pantry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had Jaskier lighting up. “I’m not going to hold back. The body wants what it wants for a reason, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt put a calming hand on Jaskier’s shoulder. “Let us not get ahead of ourselves. Potion and spell first. Then we need to see if it actually works.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going to try for a baby.” There was a dreamy look to Jaskier as his imagination took off yet again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s one way to announce you’ll be spending every night with come trickling down your legs,” Lambert cut in gruffly. He was happy for Jaskier and Geralt, they deserved happiness as they defined it. But they seemed to have zero tact. A hand squeezed his thigh under the table and he glanced to Cahir who gave him a subtle nod of gratitude. Slowly, Lambert and Eskel were starting to see hints of Cahir as he probably had been in the army. He had an incredible poker face, could talk about and watch anything with a pleasant detachment. It was a look Lambert was familiar with, he’d seen the old witchers talk about administering the trials in much the same way. But with Cahir, he was there when the carefully put up walls crumbled. It was better to not think about who should have been there for Vesemir.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The potion was ready by the afternoon and the spell was to be cast a couple of days later. The wait had been eating away at Jaskier and he was all too eager to get started. But he had to wait just a little bit longer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get your sword Little Spark!” Lambert was hollering from the entrance. “We’re going out tracking!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was wrapped up warm, ready for an afternoon of keeping Ciri busy with Eskel and Cahir in tow. The other two were nowhere to be seen but he could hear Ciri dashing down a corridor towards him. It was nice to be so liked by someone so young and innocent. He was fussing with Ciri’s cloak, making sure she wouldn’t get cold when the other two arrived. A glance up had Lambert going back for a second look. Next to Eskel, Cahir was dressed in armour that was obviously from Lambert’s old stash but it had been patched up properly and taken in to fit nicely. And damn if Cahir didn’t look good in witcher armour.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uncle Lambert, stop drooling,” Ciri said as she stepped away. “I’ll be able to track you easily if you leave a saliva trail.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Cahir blushed, Eskel threw his head back and laughed. He pressed a kiss to Cahir’s cheek with easy affection, not bothered by the fact Vesemir had appeared to see them off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have fun,” he said as he held the two wolves on rope leashes. They whined and strained to go with Cahir but they needed to learn independence now, this was training for them just as much as Ciri. The four took off, Lambert whooping and jumping and running around with Ciri, burning off some excess energy before they even got started.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At least the keep was quiet and Ciri wasn’t going to be there asking questions and sticking her nose into things. As delightfully inquisitive as she was, there were just some things she didn’t need to know about. Vesemir kept the wolves on a leash for a good little while after the group departed, knowing they would take any chance to go after them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Down in the infirmary, Jaskier was eagerly watching the last preparations to the concoction. It didn’t look the most appetising, at lease Yennefer had been able to add a few dollops of honey and even squeezed a lemon into the goblet. Giving it a swirl, she held it up to peer at it in the light and passed it to Triss who sniffed it and wrinkled her nose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Drink it all,” she said and handed it to Jaskier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Must it be done here? It seems so clinical to drink it in the infirmary.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt shifted a little, looking tense. “You either drink it here or not at all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Scoffing, Jaskier brought the goblet up to his lips. He almost gagged on the first taste, the honey and lemon had done nothing to mask the cloying taste that was almost dry. Stubborn as ever, he held his breath and swallowed in as large gulps as possible. Finally the goblet was empty and Jaskier frowned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There. Done. Can I go now?” The potion sat heavy and oddly cold in his stomach, all he wanted to do was curl up. He didn’t miss the way Triss was mixing another herb laden potion, watching him like a hawk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Give it a few minutes then we can go,” Geralt promised and kissed Jaskier’s temple. There was no missing the hint of tongue as he tried to disguise the fact he was actually licking Jaskier’s skin. His nose crinkled a little at what he found and he nodded at Triss. “Give it to him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Give me what? Why? Ow!” Jaskier’s hand curled over his stomach as the weird cold sensation became more pronounced and less curious. It was definitely a pain of some kind but he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. Not quite cramps but not a sharp pain either. He clutched at Geralt. “Something’s wrong. This hurts!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As if they hadn’t told Jaskier before that it would likely hurt. But he had waved it off, too focussed on the excitement and the future to worry about something silly like a bit of pain. He’d even said “we must all suffer for our goals” which had made Geralt snort. Another goblet was pushed at him, this time Geralt helped raise his hand to drink.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It will help dull the pain.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as the potion was down, Geralt picked Jaskier up and carried him to the nearest bed, getting up behind him and spooning him, hand on his stomach to rub soothing circles. As the painkiller kicked in, Jaskier whimpered and pressed closer to Geralt. It was miserable, the pain had dulled to a cold ache that spread from his core not only out to his back but also down his thighs. Even with the potion to ease it, Jaskier was still uncomfortable, feeling like he was a few sizes too big for his own skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why does it hurt?” he whispered petulantly. This wasn’t at all how he had envisioned the whole thing going. A bit of pain was fine, he thought it would maybe be a bit like trapped wind at worst. Instead, he was covered in a sheen of sweat, curled up and trying to focus on Geralt’s gentle touch instead of the ache spreading through his body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yennefer’s voice from behind them piped up. “You’re growing a whole new organ in a body that wasn’t made for it. Basically, you’re rearranging your guts and not in a sexy way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A weak laugh dribbled out of Jaskier at that. “Geralt can rearrange my guts any day of the week.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Strong arms squeezed around him as Geralt appreciated his humour. If only the pain had subsided after a few minutes. Maybe even an hour. Jaskier was getting grumpy as the sun set and he was still curled up on the infirmary bed. There was some commotion as Ciri and the others had returned from their training but Geralt had refused to leave his side to find out what all the noise was. Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long, Lambert’s loud grumblings could be heard drifting closer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re doing this properly. You don’t get to argue.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cahir’s reply of “it’s just a scratch” was barely audible but Eskel was just as adamant as Lambert and the three of them arrived in the infirmary.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dare I ask what happened?” Jaskier called and thankfully Cahir rounded the bed looking like his usual self.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Cahir could reply, Lambert was bundling in. “What happened? I’ll tell you what happened.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had gone out as a group, eager to have a bit of fun. While they had dubbed it training, mostly it was just a giant game of hide and seek and there was no telling whether Ciri or Lambert would find it more fun. As agreed, they had parameters of the area they would play in and rules established (namely, Lambert couldn’t hide out in the top of a tree). It was all going great, Ciri had almost found Cahir, tracking the less than subtle path he had left for her. There had been an unspoken agreement that they would always be keeping a quiet eye on her, never truly leaving her alone out in the wilds. A screech went up from above the clearing Ciri was walking across and a growing shadow fell. A forktail. It was diving, talons outstretched and aiming straight for Ciri.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There wasn’t much they could do. Lambert and Eskel were too far, Cahir was unarmed and Ciri was paralysed by fear, staring up at the approaching forktail in horror. It was never really a choice, Cahir jumped out from the bush and ran. He managed to tackle Ciri to the ground, protecting her by hunching over her, barking “close your eyes” as the wind from the forktail’s wings hit them. A sudden gust of wind buffeted into them and Cahir felt a claw slice up his back but not dig in deep, leaving nothing more than a scratch and torn leather behind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Run!” Eskel ordered and Cahir didn’t hesitate to obey orders. He was up and pulling Ciri into his arms, dashing for the protective cover of the trees, crashing to his knees once safe. From there, he could see Lambert and Eskel make quick work of the forktail while Ciri’s face was tucked into the crook of his neck. As soon as the forktail was dead, Lambert and Eskel were hurrying towards them looking every bit as fearsome and otherworldly as the stories and lores made them out to be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uncle Lambert!” Ciri wailed and threw herself at him, uncaring of the blood and gore coating him. It left Eskel to kneel next to Cahir and check him over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no immediate danger from injury so it was decided they would trek back to Kaer Morhen. It was just as well nobody was hurt enough that they couldn’t walk. Shaken by the close call, it was a silent trek and Lambert carried Ciri for most of it while Eskel had draped his coat over Cahir’s back to keep him warm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So now we’re down here to make sure Cahir’s back doesn’t get infected,” Lambert finished the story.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They’re just fussing,” Cahir corrected with a small smile over his shoulder at the other two before pulling his clothes off and sitting topless on the bed opposite Jaskier. His jaw clenched when something was wiped over the wound but he didn’t make a noise of discomfort.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wanting to do something to help, Jaskier offered the only thing he could. He became a distraction. “Hey Cahir, how long does this potion make you hurt?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A few days? I thought I got food poisoning so didn’t think much of it. First day or so are definitely the worst.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Behind Cahir, a hand stroked down his back in sympathy. It was nice but also unnecessary. As far as Cahir was concerned, he’d lived through it, the others weren’t responsible for it so it was best to forget it if possible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaskier dropped the topic too, not wanting to actually think about Cahir suffering through the same thing. Especially not when Jaskier was surrounded by friends and family, looked after and being given potions to help the pain. To go through it without any of that, well, it was best not to dwell on it for fear of bursting into tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sure enough, the pain did ease by next morning, enough that Jaskier could get up and join everyone else for breakfast. It only got easier from there and, other than a lingering fatigue, Jaskier was okay. A few days later even the tiredness was gone. Which brought the next challenge.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Each morning, Jaskier strutted into the dining room with a grin and stood in front of Yennefer, arms out at his side with a proud smirk. And each morning Yennefer would diligently cast a spell and shake her head. “I’m not your personal pregnancy test.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But you do it because you love me,” Jaskier replied without pause. It covered up his disappointment that once again he hadn’t been able to conceive. Quietly, over a bowl of porridge, he admitted to Cahir that “while all this trying to get pregnant thing has been great for my sex life, I am beginning to worry that I’m just not right in some way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lambert less than helpfully butted in. “You want to do a handstand, keep it all in. Can’t get knocked up if it’s all trickling down your thighs.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There wasn’t much Cahir could say to Jaskier, opting to ignore Lambert. Patting him on the arm in silent sympathy, he put all his focus on Jaskier. “It will happen, don’t worry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if the painkillers changed things? I avoided suffering and now this is the result.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Such mad notions were proven to be wrong when, a little over a week after they started trying, Yennefer’s eyebrows shot up and she smiled. “Congratulations.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The scream of happiness drowned out any other conversation and Jaskier flung himself at Geralt, eyes bright with tears of happiness. “We’re having a baby Geraly! We’re having a family.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Quietly, Cahir got up from the table, took his half empty bowl into the kitchen and slipped out the service entrance. It wasn’t like he had much of an appetite all of a sudden and he just needed a bit of time away from all the baby fever.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Baby fever has officially set in, Cahir is oddly good at a lot of things, and Destiny is a bitch.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm reading all your comments and holding them close to my heart. Hopefully I'll have the courage to reply to all you lovely people soon, it's on my list of things to work on and get back in the habit of.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Baby fever had well and truly set in. Jaskier was ecstatic and Geralt indulgent. Despite it being early days and Triss warning them not to get too carried away, Jaskier was unstoppable. He was so excited, plotting and planning even the smallest of details.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going to need a nursery! A cot, some toys, we need to sew clothes and nappies!” It was all a whirlwind that was either all about what was needed or what was to come. The difficulty was in not getting caught up in it all. Not that any of them really tried to resist, Vesemir could be found knitting baby clothes by the fire most evening while Geralt happily massaged Jaskier’s feet. The swelling and aches would come later but Jaskier was a firm believer in getting into a good habit so he had Geralt starting early. Even Lambert seemed to get suckered in and he sheepishly brought back a couple of rabbits, carefully skinning them. While they made for a good meal, it was their fur that he prepared and cut, turning hopefully eyes at Eskel who sewed them together into a soft, warm quilt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll need a nursery!” Jaskier scouted the rooms and found the perfect one. He and Geralt would also move rooms but it was a small sacrifice for the price of having a bedroom with a nursery directly opposite them. It was going to be quite the project to get it all ready, they were going to have to raid their stores to find paint for the walls, wood for the crib and maybe a comfortable chair to salvage and restuff to leave in the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Perhaps the most surprising was the way Cahir was willing to help out. He tagged along to the woods and pointed out a couple of trees that might be good to work with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How on earth do you know that?” Jaskier seemed enthralled while Lambert and Eskel got to work actually cutting the tree down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I spent a lot of time with the groundskeeper while growing up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It made very little sense, Jaskier knew Cahir was of a similar station to him, both their fathers were Counts and Jaskier had never been allowed to spend time with the help. Before he could probe, Lambert yelled that the tree was coming down and they watched as it toppled. Lugging the tree back, Cahir let the others set to work on it, he had other ideas. Namely, Jaskier had found the paints and even a nice yellow that he liked. Ladders, brushes and rags were all hauled into the room. While the witchers were busy with the wood, Cahir was up on a ladder with Jaskier sitting, leaning against a wall and prattling away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The room was half finished by the time the others came in, Eskel picking up a brush to help paint the rest of the wall while Lambert sat next to Jaskier to watch the show with a lewd grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should get Geralt to help out too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re more likely to end up with paint in his hair than on the walls. Geralt does not get a brush!” Eskel was rather firm about that even though he stuck his tongue out at Geralt. In response, Geralt snatched the brush from his hand and swiped it over Eskel’s cheek to prove a point before sitting on Jaskier’s other side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An all out paint war was prevented by Jaskier elbowing Geralt in the side and nodding towards Lambert who was openly staring at Cahir. More specifically, the strip of skin that poked out from under the hem of his shirt as he stretched to get to the highest part of the wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to paint a mural once the base layer is dried.” Though Jaskier was talking, it was more for the benefit of the others so they didn’t realise they were being stared at. Because it wasn’t just Lambert staring with open hunger at Cahir, Eskel was sneaking in looks too. Personally, Jaskier didn’t understand the draw of a slightly saggy stomach but he wasn’t the one dating Cahir so that was fine. Next to him, Geralt was having a hard time not laughing. It didn’t deter Jaskier and he kept prattling on. “I’m thinking a sweet woodland scene.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds cute.” Despite his words, Lambert was obviously not paying any attention, his eyes too busy tracking Cahir’s every move.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right?” Undeterred, Jaskier continued, lips ticking upwards. “Maybe hide a few werewolves and a leshen between the trees.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your sprog will love it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought so too. Especially if we put a few gutted villagers into the trees, got to keep it realistic.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Absolutely.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaskier couldn’t keep it together anymore, he and Geralt leaned against each other laughing as Cahir turned to give them an incredulous look and that had Lambert frowning, trying to think back on the conversation he had just had but not really participated in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I may-” Cahir cut in, “-stick to nice things. Leave the forktails and harpies for the later years.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can help me if you want,” Jaskier asked, still snickering. “I can do the animals at the bottom while you do the treetops and sun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t think they taught art in the army,” Lambert cut in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment the mood plummeted before Cahir actually smiled. “They didn’t. But I learned before I got there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t you say you were given to the army?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still painting and carefully not looking at anyone, Cahir shrugged. “I was 13 when I was handed over to them. I think I was worth an oren and a sack of grain.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A low growl from Lambert was followed up with an outraged “you’re worth so much more than that” which Eskel found himself agreeing with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Same age we went through the trials.” There was a hint of musing in Geralt’s voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oddly, Cahir only said, “Oh I know. Trust me, I know.” It made little sense but the topic died and Jaskier quickly picked a lighter topic, describing the fashion he had seen for when his belly started growing - dungarees that could be padded to keep warm in the cold winter months.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the evening Cahir was pretty wiped out so he, along with the wolves retired to bed early. Strangely, the wolves had become quite protective of Jaskier too. Within a few days of his pregnancy, they were torn between guarding Cahir and Jaskier but, of late, they had definitely been more focused on Jaskier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the Great Hall, Lambert, Eskel and Geralt were sprawled on chairs and sharing Lambert’s moonshine and sinking deeper into the bottle. They’d already covered their usual topics such as Vesemir’s hair, training grievances and bitching about food.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can’t believe you’ve defied destiny and are having a kid of your own,” Eskel said as he emptied his tankard. “Was Ciri as Child Surprise not enough.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A slightly disbelieving smile spread over Geralt’s lips. “I don’t know how I got so lucky.” He swirled the remains of his drink as he got lost in his thoughts. “I’m going to be a dad to my own flesh and blood.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good for you!” Lambert said it a little too quickly and forcefully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if you could have a family of your own?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as quickly, Lambert shook his head. “Don’t get me wrong, it would be amazing. But the potion wouldn’t work on me or Eskel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Which was something Eskel didn’t know. He hadn’t realised Lambert had gone around asking such things from Triss or Yennefer. Even if it worked on them, he didn’t think either Lambert or himself would be able to carry a child to term. Their lives and bodies were too dangerous for a child.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve got a third now,” Geralt said hesitantly. “If he truly loved you, wouldn’t he give you a child? It’s only four and a half months.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other two snarled at the same time and Eskel found his words first, “If we truly love him, we would never ask him to do something like that. Nothing is worth the risk to Cahir and his health.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was just saying. Jaskier seems to think this whole pregnancy thing is fun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” Lambert’s word invited no argument. “Absolutely not. Cahir’s been pretty upfront about not wanting more kids. We’d be monsters to ask that of him. He makes us happy as he is. We don’t need children to cement us as a family.” Even if the image of Cahir with a softly rounding belly was one that Lambert occasionally, in the deepest recess of his mind, imagined and sighed wistfully over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a moment of silence as Geralt stared into the fire with a frown, trying to wrap his drunken mind around it. Which was why Eskel’s surprised little huff was louder in the room. “Hey Lamb?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We love him.” A little breathless, Eskel giggled. “We’re in love with Cahir.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit. We should tell him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt watched the two suddenly fall over themselves in their haste to get to their bedroom and he followed at a more sedated pace. Smiling, he heard the shush and the loudly whispered “he’s asleep” from the gate in the doorway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lamb? Esk?” Cahir’s voice was thick with sleep. “You okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re good. We love you. Goodnight!” Eskel waved and turned to head to their own room next door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Night. Love you too.” Geralt listened to Cahir’s sleepy reply and watched as Lambert turned to follow Eskel with a wide, beaming grin. Three seconds later there was a “wait, what?” and Cahir scrambled out of the room, one wolf at his heels. The other, Geralt found on his and Jaskier’s bed, sleeping by his partner’s feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That night Geralt didn’t get a lot of sleep, pondering the many different forms love took and how his love for Jaskier looked so different to the love Lambert and Eskel had for Cahir.  Or was it all so different? When boiled down to absolute basics, all of them seemed to want the same thing for their respective partners: happiness. And that came in so many different forms, for Jaskier it was a family with Geralt, for Ciri to have a sibling so she wasn’t the only child in a keep haunted by witchers and their memories. Obviously, for Cahir happiness took a different form. Geralt didn’t know him well enough to say just what it was but it most definitely didn’t involve a pregnancy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Works on the nursery resumed over the next couple of days. It was starting to look really good actually. Even with Jaskier’s morning sickness, he seemed determined to see only the beauty in the process. The walls were a mural of woodland creatures frolicking and having a wonderful time. Now, they were working on the crib though mostly they were sat around in the makeshift workshop and watching Cahir work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is there anything you don’t know how to do?” Eskel grumbled, a little envious of the weirdly broad skillset Cahir exhibited.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know nothing about fashion,” Cahir replied with a little shrug. “If I can wear it and it’s practical as well as comfortable, I will wear it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leering, Lambert leaned closer to Eskel, mock whispering. “I have a very practical and very comfortable body harness. Think he’d wear that and nothing else?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bright laughter echoed through the room and Cahir flushed, hiding behind the strands of hair that were now long enough to fall in his face. Next to him, one of the wolves howled, joining in with the noise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously though, it’s unfair. How did you learn all this?” Lambert pressed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Spent a lot of time with the staff at the house, kids learn things without meaning to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That had Jaskier frowning. He had never been allowed to spend time with those who worked for his family. There was a strict timetable for studies that he adhered to with a little time to play if he was well behaved - he rarely was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t they hire you tutors? Is that not a thing for minor nobility in Nilfgaard?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure it is.” Cahir looked a little uncomfortable. “And in Vicovaro too, that’s where I’m from. My brothers and sisters all got an education but I was a bit of a different matter.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was an intrigue filled silence. Nobody wanted to probe but they were all dying to know a little more, to understand just what made Cahir seemingly so different. However, Cahir turned back to his work, seemingly reluctant to broach the topic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unexpectedly, it was Vesemir who pushed. “What made you so different?” He looked like he was already dreading the answer, as if he knew.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A family won’t waste resources on a child claimed by the Law of Surprise.” A murmur of shock erupted in the room. “It’s a child they’ll lose anyway. To end up with a child who isn’t even wanted by witchers is a great source of shame. As soon as I passed the age where the first Trials would have been administered, I was sold to the army.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lambert was on his feet and pulling Cahir in for a hug. “I’m so glad the witcher didn’t come back for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was no secret that Lambert hated being a witcher, wouldn’t wish it on even his worst enemy. To know that his partner had come so close to suffering the same fate he had, it was unbearable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seneschal Ceallach Dyffryn aep Gruffyd.” Vesemir’s voice was quiet but carried a note of sadness. “34 years ago he lost his horse to a group of drowners and was about to be pulled under himself when I found him. He had no way to pay so offered the Law of Surprise.” Slowly, Lambert turned to Vesemir, jaw slack. “He had no idea his wife was expecting until he returned. Thus his firstborn became a Child Surprise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You would have been a wolf.” Like a limpet, Lambert clung onto Cahir. “Fuck.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>However, Cahir had a more pressing issue. He turned to look at Vesemir. “Why did you never come for me? Was I not good enough?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were in the deep South, Vicovaro is hardly an easy trip from here.” There was no apology in Vesemir’s voice. “I was only there to see an old friend who needed a hand with something. I thought it best to let you be unclaimed. Especially after the sacking.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Destiny’s a bitch and you still ended up at Kaer Morhen,” Geralt cut in with a wry, humourless smile. “You didn’t suffer the Trials but you suffered something just as horrendous.” It was his way of acknowledging what Cahir had been through and, in a way, that Destiny had screwed them all over. An unclaimed Child Surprise who fathered children for an army, only to end up loving not one but two witchers from the school he should have died in the Trials for.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nobody said anything for a long few moments. Vesemir walked up to Cahir. “I’m sorry for all you’ve been through, growing up. But I’m not sorry I spared you the life of a witcher.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wrapping an arm around Lambert, Cahir nodded in acceptance. “Growing up wasn’t too bad. Got passed around the families who worked at the house. Learned to cook, learned carpentry, even learned to sew. The army takes care of their own as long as you stay in line. As I said, it wasn’t so bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All the same, Vesemir felt he had to make up for things at least a little. Especially given how Lambert was giving him a flat stare while Eskel looked unimpressed too - perhaps thinking about his own comeuppance for defying destiny. He could start small.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why don’t you show me how to make the bars for the crib? Let me help.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just like that, the moment was broken and, while things didn’t go back to how they were, the odd tension seeped away. Jaskier began humming again, hand on his still flat stomach while Eskel got up to get them all drinks. On his way past, he pressed a kiss to Cahir’s cheek and trailed a hand across Lambert’s back. Destiny was a bitch but sometimes it also accidentally made good things happen.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A chapter of morning sickness, nurseries and wrong assumptions.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Preparations were coming along quite nicely. Jaskier was glowing with happiness, even as the morning sickness started. He laughed it off as a novelty, not at all bothered by it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just have a pan next to the bed,” he explained over breakfast. “Sit up, throw up and get on with my day. Not an issue.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In fact, he ate voraciously and Geralt was wondering whether someone really needed to eat for two from such an early stage. But Jaskier seemed happy and there was no sign of Cahir’s fearmongering words of pregnancy being difficult. It put Geralt at ease and, in fact, most of the residents of Kaer Morhen relaxed. Jaskier was busy composing lullabies, crooning under his breath when he wasn’t pestering Yennefer or Triss for a confirmation that the baby was still there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t wait to start showing. It’s been, what, two week?” He mused, head nestled on Geralt’s stomach as they were sprawled in the courtyard and staring at the stars. “Which is a month in usual pregnancy terms. And a bump starts showing at three months. So I have four more weeks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Idly, Geralt stroked through Jaskier’s hair as he rambled. “You’ll get there. And you’ll look adorable.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Damn right I will!” Jaskier grinned up at the stars, feeling content. The shuffle of small feet drew their attention and Ciri appeared. “Couldn’t sleep?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shook her head and joined their pile. It was instinct to wrap her up between them, shuffling around until Ciri was at the centre, nice and warm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s eating away at you?” Jaskier had always been the one to cut to the chase where emotions were concerned. “You’ve been quiet recently.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no response from Ciri which was probably a habit she learned from Geralt. If emotions were involved, they would both rather suffer in silence than talk. It was just as well Jaskier was superbly versed in Geralt so could wheedle anything out of anyone. “Is it the baby?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>More silence, not even a shake of the head which meant it absolutely was the problem. “Just because our family is growing doesn’t mean we’ll love you any less.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Promise?” The word was whispered, hidden into Geralt’s chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Geralt’s turn to look at Jaskier with panic in his eyes. This hadn’t been part of the plan. They were going to be a happy family with a new addition. So he was quick to reply, “Promise. You’re ours and we’re not letting you go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A soft sniffle from Ciri broke Geralt’s heart. He wasn’t prepared for this, he’d genuinely thought that bringing another child into the world, into Ciri’s world, would be met with joy. Even Jaskier was quiet which was why they heard the ever so quiet, “I thought you were going to give me to Cahir when the new baby gets here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As if they could give Ciri to Cahir! Despite it being one big family, there was a common, unspoken rule that Ciri’s parents were Geralt, Yennefer and Jaskier while Lambert and Eskel were the uncles, Triss the aunt and Vesemir was the grandfather. To think that Ciri had been worried she would be passed on like an old, ragged shirt was like ripping out their hearts and squeezing them. Cuddling up against her more tightly, Geralt murmured a low, firm “never”.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took a good hour for Ciri to fall asleep after that and Geralt couldn’t bring himself to leave her in her room. For the first time in a long while, Ciri shared their bed, only waking up to Jaskier spitting in the pan to clear his mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the next few days Ciri was exceptionally clingy and unwilling to leave Geralt and Jaskier’s side. Not even for practice and training. It was something the others picked up on too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going to take a hike for the next few days,” Lambert announced. “Eskel, Cahir and I want a bit of time to ourselves.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Which wasn’t a lie as such, just a bending of the truth. They did want time alone but they also wanted a bit of time away from everyone, including the wolves. While their relationship had been slowly progressing, kisses turned more heated and hands began to wander, the wolves had a knack for interrupting. If they were locked out, they would howl and it killed the mood. It became especially frustrating when Cahir finally, softly admitted to wanting more. While Eskel and Lambert had been trying to be respectful of his needs and taking things slow, they still had their own desires. It was something they could sort out in the privacy of their own bedroom but it began to feel odd, leaving Cahir out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want you,” Cahir had whispered one night, snuggled in the middle of them. “I want you both.” Which was encouraging and Lambert was immediately figuring out how best to make it happen. He was completely blindsided by Cahir’s next request. “At the same time. I don’t want to play favourites. I can take you both.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was both unexpected and extremely hot if Lambert thought about it. And he thought about it a lot. So did Eskel. That night, the two of them were in bed, Eskel riding Lambert and spewing filth about how they would work together to take Cahir apart in the best possible way. Thus the plan for the couple of days away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had taken a day’s hike to a remote part of the mountain. There was a cave Lambert had found a few decades back, a place where he could escape to when things got too much. It had only been in the last twenty-ish years that Eskel had been allowed there. Such a long hike gave them plenty of time to talk and think. Mostly, Eskel was worried that Cahir was pushing himself into doing something too soon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you want to stop at any point, you just need to say, okay?” He was fretting like some mother hen. “Or if you change your mind or need a break or-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It will be fine,” Cahir actually snapped a little. This was a conversation they’d had at least three times already. “I know I was worried. But I can’t live in fear of something happening again. I’m free of that place, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>None of them ever quite said it, skirting around the topic of Cahir getting pregnant again. It was a very real fear, one that had been holding Cahir back from taking things further with the other two. But he had become sick and tired of avoiding things on the off chance something bad would happen. That was no way to live. Yennefer had said it was all over and behind him, he had to start to learn to trust.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fire was set near the mouth of the cave while Eskel set up their bedding. Food, water, furs and several jars of slick were all neatly put in their place. A whole day’s hike left them too tired to do anything more than settled down for dinner and then cuddle. However, the following day was devoted to each other. They started slow, hands and lips exploring each other before Lambert and Eskel finally pulled Cahir between them. Together, they worked him open, Eskel held Cahir’s thighs, supporting his back against his chest while Lambert crowded close and kissed them both.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One day together was never going to be enough. Lambert and Cahir teamed up to take Eskel apart kissing any skin they could reach until there was no telling which lips belonged to who and whose hands were where on whose body. By the time Lambert was flat on his back, Cahir riding him while Eskel fucked his mouth, they were all a little love drunk and giggling when they had breath for it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It turned into three days in the cave, snuggled up and basking in the quiet presence of each other. If it wasn’t for the fact that it was a cave and they did miss the rest of their family, Eskel suspected they would have happily spent the whole year there. But the lure of a comfortable mattress and Vesemir’s cooking did managed to tempt them back home in the end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Those few days away made it easier for Cahir to deal with Jaskier’s incessant happiness about being pregnant. He found that the smiles he gave were more genuine and there was less pain in his chest as they worked on the nursery. It was coming along beautifully, the crib was almost done and Vesemir had been working on crafting a rocking chair. Mornings were spent quietly working away, Eskel knitting in a corner while Cahir and Lambert carved figurines for a mobile to hang over the crib. Thankfully Yennefer had taken Ciri for some training, keeping her busy while Triss planted flowers in pots so the nursery would look bright, cheerful and natural. Nobody mentioned the look on Vesemir’s face as he took it all in, Kaer Morhen was actually becoming a family home and was going to be decorated as such.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door flung open and Jaskier charged in, cheeks flushed and dimples deep around a grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Listen!” He cried, arms out either side as he presented himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If it had been Lambert doing that, Cahir would have expected an almighty fart to follow but this was Jaskier. No matter how he strained his ears, he couldn’t hear anything. It was Vesemir whose face creased into a small smile at first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that-?” Lambert looked torn between surprised and awed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What can you hear?” Cahir asked as Eskel smiled suddenly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The baby has a heartbeat,” Eskel explained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it was just as well that Cahir couldn’t hear it. The others looked so soft as they listened and he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t have cried if he’d heard it too. It wouldn’t have been happy tears either.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Jaskier had been happy before, he was blossoming into radiant now. Sure, he got tired more easily and could be found having an afternoon nap on the nearest soft surface almost every day, but he was glowing. It was difficult not to miss the way Lambert’s eyes lingered on him from time to time and Eskel had to nudge him before Cahir noticed. The gesture was appreciated by Cahir even if he could see the longing in Lambert’s eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want,” he murmured in the darkness of their bedroom, wolf sprawled across their feet. “I see the way you look at Jaskier.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arms tightened around him as Lambert shook his head. Even in the dark, the motion could be felt. “You and Eskel are all I want. You’re enough.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A grunt of agreement was Eskel’s response. While by contrast he was probably the most emotionally available witcher, it still didn’t mean he was good with words or reassurance. But what he couldn’t articulate, he could show in other ways. Namely by rolling so he was on top of both Lambert and Cahir, pinning them and keeping them in easy reach of kisses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not that Cahir easily believed them. But he could try because there wasn’t much else to do. If he couldn’t even do that, he would stagnate in a bitter pool of misery and that wouldn’t do anyone any favours. He had to be enough for the other two, otherwise he was worthless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Working on the nursery was oddly exhausting. Eskel watched how, after a day of painting or carving, Cahir would be drooping and sleepy by the evening. He still indulged them and the sex was great but even Lambert noticed how Cahir would all but pass out if left without attention when on a horizontal surface. It was slowly causing them concern. Something was wrong but each time they tried to bring it up, Cahir would apologise and say he probably overdid it. So they cut back on training with him, went easy and didn’t push. It made little difference though and each night Cahir was quite dead on his feet. At least the wolves seemed to be sticking close to him again. One still kept an eye on Jaskier but, more often than not, both of them started guarding Cahir more. It was something Lambert praised them for, wondering whether the wolves were as worried as he was about Cahir falling down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At least the nursery was almost done. They were putting in the finishing touches, fussing over what went where. The crib couldn’t be near the window for fear of drafts and the baby getting too cold. The rocking chair needed to be next to the crib and the pillows for it needed to be stuffed a little more. No straw was going in the cushions, it was all soft down from the geese Vesemir had purchased and been quietly breeding in the courtyard. There was also a changing station because Triss had mentioned seeing one of those in a court once - it definitely seemed easier on the back and warmer for the baby to be on a glorified table than on the floor. It also meant all the bits and bobs needed for nappy changes were in one place. In preparation there was also a small bookcase and a chest for toys that was painted but the name would be added once the baby was born. Anything a child could want or need was there. The wolves had poured all their dreams of how they had wanted to be looked after as children into the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Breakfast was a communal affair on most mornings. It was an accepted fact that Jaskier was the last and the noisiest to arrive which was no different that particular morning. He bustled in, plate in hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I swear my trousers are getting tighter! Geralt says I just need to take a large shit but I think I might be getting a bump.” He was so excited, bounding closer to the table, hips swaying as if trying to show off his non-existent bump. As he slid onto the bench opposite Cahir, he put his plate down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The smell of eggs hit Cahir and he turned just in time to throw up on the floor rather than himself. His world fell silent as he stared at the pool of vomit, harsh breaths eerily loud in his ears. It couldn’t be. It was a fluke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-hir. Cahir!” A hand was shaking his shoulder and the world rushed back into focus. “I need you to breathe with me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Distantly Cahir could hear the gasping pants of panicked breathing but he couldn’t quite figure out who it was coming from. All he could focus on was the fact he’d thrown up from the smell of eggs and what that could mean.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eggs,” he rasped, chest tight. When that happened, he had no idea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get them out of here.” The words were growled and Cahir looked up to see Eskel crouched next to him while Lambert hovered anxiously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eyes wide, Cahir stared at them a little lost. It had been so long since he’d thrown up because of the smell of food. Not since...a small whimper caught in his throat and the world blurred with tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t make me do this,” he begged. “Please don’t. I can’t. Not again.” It came out a little hysterical, a hand resting on his stomach where his worst nightmare was growing again. “You promised.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The last words broke as Cahir’s voice cracked, tears streaming down deathly pale cheeks. As the world began to spin, a hand on his back pushed firmly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Head between your knees.” There was no arguing with the voice or the firm pressure. A murmur of “axii” followed along with a “take slow breaths. In for four, out for eight.” Following the suggestion was easy and Cahir hiccoughed as his breath hitched on the inhale.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Vesemir who had a hand on Cahir’s back and helped ease him up as the panic artificially subsided. The whole room was tense, Jaskier lingering in the kitchen doorway with Geralt protectively wrapped around him, watching the scene unfold. Ciri looked on, big eyes glued to Cahir and not understanding what the fuss was about. This wasn’t something that Cahir needed to have an audience for so Vesemir cleared his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on son, let’s have a look at you.” A warm hand guided Cahir up onto shaking legs and Yennefer stood on the other side of the table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll help.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lambert and Eskel were flanking Cahir even as Vesemir looked to argue with that. But Cahir gripped his partners’ hands tightly in his. “They’re coming too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The axii lasted until they got to the infirmary when Vesemir dropped the sign and Cahir’s breath caught in his throat. He suddenly looked so lost, small and frightened as he was guided to sit on the edge of a bed. Lambert and Eskel stood to the side, looking helpless. In fact, Lambert looked rather stricken and guilty. He had been the one to get a little jealous of Jaskier and Geralt but this wasn’t a price he was willing to pay. A selfish desire for a family of their own wasn’t worth the way Cahir was biting on his lower lip to keep it from wobbling. Or the hand compulsively resting on his stomach as if he could feel the life growing there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yennefer stood in front of Cahir and cast a spell, frowning. Her brows pulled closer, deepening the crease between them and she cast the spell again. After the third time Lambert lost his patience. “Is your Chaos broken or something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A shake of her head and Yennefer looked at Cahir. “You’re pregnant.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Deep down, they already knew that but to have Yennefer confirm it catapulted the whole thing into a painful reality.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tears trickled down Cahir’s cheek as he looked back at Yennefer. “I can’t be. You promised I wouldn’t.” The deathly paleness was giving way to an angry flush and Cahir’s hands visibly shook until he balled them into fists. Even in the face of his rage, Yennefer stood her ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to be,” Vesemir stepped up next to Yennefer. “There’s a potion-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!” Cahir was off the table and backing away. “I’m not a murderer!” His back hit a wall and he sank down onto the cold stone ground, hands buried in his hair. “I can’t. Not again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no telling whether he was referring to the pregnancy or to the idea of not carrying the baby to term. Eskel approached slowly and crouched down, reaching for Cahir.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t touch me!” Cahir shrank from the touch, curling in on himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seeing as Eskel wasn’t allowed to give even a shred of comfort, Lambert did the next best thing. He rounded on Yennefer. “How the fuck did this happen?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not that it would change anything. The damage was already done, no matter that route they took. All that was left to do was learn from their mistakes and try to avoid them in the future. If there was a future to be had, Lambert thought bleakly. Given the reaction Cahir had had, there was no telling what could happen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the bed, Yennefer drew herself to her full height and tried to look like her usual composed self. “In order for the potion to work, a spell needs to be maintained over the grounds. I didn’t think it would affect Cahir as he had taken the potion such a long time ago.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hollow, hopeless eyes stared up at Yennefer from the ground. There was only a crushed look to Cahir. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have left.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not that he had anywhere to go, they all knew that. But even that seemed like a more favourable option than the reality of the situation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought the spell only worked with the potion I brewed. If I had known.” Yennefer trailed off. She hadn’t meant for this to happen but there was nothing she could do. “I won’t cancel the spell.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t let you,” Cahir replied fiercely. As if Yennefer would have been able to bring herself to do such a thing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slowly getting to his feet, Cahir avoided all offers of support, twisting out of the way of reaching hands. There was nothing that could be done now but that didn’t mean he was okay by any stretch of the imagination. Despite losing his breakfast, he wasn’t hungry and, as he walked on unsteady legs towards the door, there was a whine and a soft howl from the other side of it. His wolves were there, pressing up against his legs as soon as they could.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need some time to myself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The others could respect that and let him go. Nobody mentioned that there was no sign of Cahir at lunchtime and he didn’t join them for dinner either. Ciri looked puzzled, not sure what the issue was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is Cahir ill?” After all, the last she saw, he had been sick in the morning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s having a baby too, with Eskel and Lambert” Jaskier replied before anyone could try and pad the truth out a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Frowning a little, Ciri fixed Lambert with a confused look. “Didn’t you say he was too evil for anyone to even want to have a baby with him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If only Lambert could go back in time and throttle himself. Amid the rumblings around the table because they all remembered agreeing with him, nobody heard the quiet footsteps that hurried away from the dining hall along with the clack of claws.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That night, Lambert and Eskel found their bed feeling too big and empty as Cahir opted to stay in his room. The distance didn’t stop them from being able to hear the sobs barely stifled in fur. However, when Eskel tried to approach with a tankard of water to help, a wolf growled and bared her teeth at him without hesitation. Helpless, Eskel beat a hasty retreat, seeking comfort in Lambert’s arms and feeling guilty that he had that while Cahir only had a wolf to cling to. Whatever happened next, they needed to be better, they needed to show Cahir they were there and that he wasn’t alone.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Family always sticks together.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They all gave Cahir the space they thought he needed for a day or two. It was like having a ghost live in the old keep except it was one that they all cared about and wanted to bring back into the fold after a few days. Alas, Cahir seemed to have learned the secrets of Kaer Morhen because he wasn’t found anywhere. He got back into his bedroom late at night but was out before anyone could get to him in the morning. The one time Lambert fell asleep in Cahir’s bed waiting for him, he woke in the morning, a throw pulled over him but Cahir’s scent was only a lingering memento in the room. It was becoming a problem and a concern. No human should have been able to evade a witcher in his own home. Nevermind that there were three witchers, two sorceresses, and a child surprise in training, as well as a member of the Redanian Intelligence masquerading as a bard looking for him. Only Vesemir looked resigned and unbothered by the situation. The problem was, even if Cahir had been one Nilfgaard’s finest, he shouldn’t have been able to outwit the others. Especially not with two wolves who followed him with fierce loyalty. After four days of worry, the group sat down together, Ciri included.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going to work together to find him.” Eskel announced grimly. “He’s had time alone but this isn’t something he should face without family around him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Murmurs of agreement went up though Lambert looked forlorn. As far as he was concerned, this was all his fault, he had been the one who had wanted a family, had daydreamed about Cahir giving them a child of their own. When it had been a fantasy, it had been a happy one after a bit of angst but now, the reality was so very different. He hadn’t wanted Cahir to spiral and withdraw so completely. Nor did he want a child at such a cost.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll take the stables and courtyard with Ciri,” Geralt volunteered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll do the bedrooms.” It was probably safest for Vesemir to check them, being the most respectful of personal space of them all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, everyone was allocated an area to search and widen out from. There was no sign of Cahir anywhere, no trail outside Kaer Morhen, no hints of where within the keep he could be. It was almost like he had disappeared off the face of the Continent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s been no portals opened in the area,” Yennefer grumbled as they all gathered for lunch. “So he has to be here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But where? That was a question nobody had an answer to. Lunch was a quiet affair, even Jaskier was subdued, munching on the food with an absent, faraway look in his eyes. “We’ve searched the grounds and the keep from top to bottom without any luck. There is only one solution: someone is hiding him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Murmurs went up around the table as they all looked at each other suspiciously. Eskel in particular seemed to feel most betrayed while Lambert was outraged. There was only one person who was oddly calm in all the mutterings.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously?” Eskel hissed at Vesemir. “Where is he?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Resting. As he should be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shoving away from the table, Eskel growled under his breath and took off running, looking through the bedrooms and finding them empty until he got to Vesemir’s. Pushing the door open, Lambert peered over his shoulder. There was Cahir, curled up small in the armchair that looked out the window and over the mountains. Before they could barge in and wake him up, a hand landed on each of Lambert’s and Eskel’s shoulders, pulling them back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not my place to meddle in your relationship,” Vesemir spoke softly, “but I need to know you won’t hurt him. Even unintentionally.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The indignant spluttering from Lambert was cut short by Eskel’s “we’d never hurt him!” which sounded more pained than offended. That didn’t stop Vesemir from fixing them both with a very unimpressed look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then make sure he’s not sobbing his heart out because he thought he’d fallen in love, only to find it was just a baby you wanted from him because he’s too evil for anything like having a family.” The hand on Eskel’s shoulder tightened, holding him in place for a moment longer. “Sort this out. He genuinely thinks the baby’s going to be taken from him and he’ll be left again. And he half believes it’s only right because he never wanted the baby in the first place.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Releasing them, Vesemir took a moment to watch as the wolves snapped at Lambert and Eskel, warning them off from getting too close. Grimly, he agreed with the wolves, at least they had Cahir as their top priority. Not that Lambert and Eskel didn’t but the wolves had no past prejudices or history which made a mess of things. The noise did wake Cahir and he shushed the wolves sleepily before scrambling to sit up straight as he realised who was in the room with him. His panicked glance to the door meant he caught sight of Vesemir who nodded in reassurance. If he’d really wanted to, he could have stopped Lambert and Eskel from getting to Cahir but this was for the best. Plus, a little selfishly, Vesemir really wanted to have his bedroom back as his own safe haven. Knowing that the three needed some privacy, Vesemir returned to the dining hall where the others seemed to be arguing. There was never a break for him, he swore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m just saying it would be a nice gesture!” Jaskier waved his arms, almost smacking Geralt in the nose. The fourth apple of the afternoon was clutched, half eaten in his fist. Nobody had mentioned his penchant for apples but there was a marked increase in the number Vesemir put out on the table each meal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s presumptuous as fuck, that’s what it is,” Geralt growled and grabbed the offending arm, pushing it out of his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vesemir gave a silent thanks when Yennefer silenced the two with a look. She always knew how to talk sense into the more stubbornly idiotic members of their family. Hopefully this time would be no different.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is logical,” she said, giving Geralt a glare that matched the one he sent her way. “Saves space, it’s all set up and ready. We just need to make another chair and cradle.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Surely they’ll want their own space,” Triss argued, siding with Geralt. “We can find another room to do up for them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And make them move bedroom? No!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In a way, Vesemir was with Jaskier on that one. They’ve all had enough upheaval that moving rooms now would possibly be a bit too much. Plus, it wasn’t like they had to make a decision right that moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe work on the crib and chair for now,” he suggested. “You can always find out about rooms a little later, it’s not like the baby will be here tomorrow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was sound advice and everyone nodded along. At least it was something to do to keep everyone distracted from the other three for a little while longer. Plus, maybe a crib and a rocking chair would be a welcome surprise and reassurance for Cahir that he was still very much part of their family. As the matter was settled, the next step was to start making the furniture in question. There was still some decent wood in the stores they could use though they would likely need a bit more eventually. Still, it was a start and, as one, they moved to get ready for some heavy labour. Which was why Vesemir saw Eskel carrying Cahir through the corridor, Lambert next to them, a hand holding Cahir’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ten minutes later, Eskel was approaching Vesemir, pulling him to the side. “Cahir says he’s been having trouble keeping food down but you’ve made him tea before that’s been okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nodding, Vesemir led him to the kitchen. The tea was relatively simple to make. Not too strong, just enough to have a slight tang of flavour to counter as much honey as Vesemir could stir into the mug plus a few drops of lemon. He had been trying to help Cahir through the worst of the sickness which plagued him. It was something Cahir said he’d always struggled with and the farm would feed them all a nutrient rich slop that seemed to sit okay even in the queasiest of stomachs. Maybe Yennefer would be able to look into the ingredients but, for now, Vesmir had been sticking to plain foods little and often, along with as much tea as Cahir could stand. Not that it stopped the need of a pan being near Cahir at all times, though Vesemir suspected sometime he cried himself sick.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tea in hand, Eskel returned to their bedroom where Lambert was sat up against the headboard of the bed, Cahir pulled into his lap.While Lambert was talking softly, it looked like Cahir was nodding off, drawn and pale as he was. He looked so much like he did when he came to Kaer Morhen, minus the hair and it broke Eskel’s heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Here.” He offered the mug when Cahir blinked up at him. If it was possible, Cahir looked thinner than he was not even a few days back. If their calculations were right, he was two weeks along which in reality meant four weeks. At least 16 more to go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Accepting the mug, Cahir clutched it to his chest, eyes hollow. Despite their talking in Vesemir’s room, it wasn’t as easy as brushing off worries and fears and laughing about how silly they’d all been. He wished he could be happy like Jaskier, shrug off the sickness that plagued him. But experience taught him that for the next four months he wasn’t going to be eating much.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t seem to deter the other two from waiting on him hand and foot. They brought him tea, plain porridge, lightly salted bread. Then they held his hair back as he threw up and wiped the tears from his cheeks. It wasn’t sustainable, Cahir knew it but he couldn’t help it. Yennefer had been asked to try and find the recipe for the stuff the farm had declared food. Not that she was having much luck and Cahir’s near constant queasiness didn’t help his ability to keep food down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At meal times either Lambert or Eskel would be there while the other stayed with Cahir. That was despite Cahir insisting they both go and eat. Alas, his boyfriends were worse than the wolves for sticking by him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While the trio were trying to find their new balance in their relationship, Jaskier had taken charge of rearranging the nursery. He had Geralt and Vesemir working on making the rocking chair and crib while he consulted with Triss on how to get everything into the room so it wouldn’t feel cramped or put either baby in the way of draft or blinding sunlight. They had their work cut out and through it all Jaskier watched, a hand gravitating to his stomach which showed maybe the gentlest of swells. Not that anyone other than Geralt could see it just yet, all it meant was that he needed to tie his trousers a little looser for now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally, the nursery was ready and Jaskier volunteered himself to approach Cahir. He was in front of the fire in their shared room three doors down. His back was propped up against Eskel’s chest and together they flipped through a bestiary which Lambert had drawn and made notes in. They would have been picture perfect were it not for the Cahir’s pale complexion and prominent cheekbones. He looked drawn and tired again and Jaskier wanted to stomp his feet at the unfairness of it all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ve got a little surprise for you,” he announced from the doorway. “If you’d like to come with me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Watching Cahir get up was painful. It obviously took a lot of effort and Lambert was by his side, hovering. But he managed to get up and walk almost steadily to Jaskier. While his stomach was still flat, Jaskier could sympathise with his symptoms - they were all things he’d experienced but not to such an extreme.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This way!” With a small gesture, he bounded away from the room and to the nursery. “Ta-dah!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Any protest about Jaskier leading them far was lost as they got to the nursery. Everyone else was crowded around the doorway as Jaskier took Cahir by the wrist and gently tugged him into the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want us to do this together. For our children to be best friends. For us all to be a family.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Inside, there were two cribs and two rocking chairs. While one set looked polished and proper, the other set was a little less refined. It was sturdy but much less expertly constructed and lacked the aesthetic appeal of the set Cahir had helped make for Jaskier. Looking at them, Jaskier suddenly felt rather foolish, especially as Cahir walked up to the less than perfect crib and ran a hand along it without uttering a single word.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can have the other one, it’s much nicer,” he babbled, realising how bad it might look. Especially when Cahir turned to look at the rocking chair and Jaskier realised there were tears welling up in his eyes. “I know it’s your hard work that’s gone into it. You should enjoy the fruits of your labour.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To his absolute mortification, Jaskier was welling up too. Seeing Cahir silently cry was setting him off and there was nothing he could do about it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you.” The words were whisper soft and strained but Jaskier caught them as Cahir turned to him. They collided in a hug, Jaskier propping up some of Cahir’s weight unexpectedly. Children didn’t always know the societal norms and it was a blessing in that moment because Ciri marched up and joined the hug, worming her way under the other two’s arms. Jaskier looked over his shoulder and beckoned the others to join too, Lambert and Eskel didn’t hesitate to envelop Cahir from each side. Hesitantly, Geralt stepped closer and waited before tentatively wrapping himself against Jaskier’s back. Yennefer, Triss and Vesemir joined too, completing the family hug. Things weren’t magically okay, maybe only marginally better. But it was a start and, together, they would do what they could to make it as easy for everyone as possible.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cake saves the day. Cake also puts the future in jeopardy.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A new pattern emerged in the daily routine of Kaer Morhen. Meal times were less cohesive, it wasn’t everyone together anymore. Cahir still couldn’t stand even the smell of food, stomach too sensitive to keep much down. So he tended to stay either in the bedroom or the library and a couple of people sat with him. They also graciously didn’t comment on how even the slightest walk had him out of breath, pale and shaking. That was the price of barely being able to keep anything down. The contrast between Cahir and Jaskier when next to each other was getting rather striking. While Jaskier was filling out and looking radiant, Cahir was almost the exact opposite. Where Jaskier bounced around happily, energised and laughing off moments of dizziness, Cahir curled up under blankets by fires and dozed. More than once the others watched him get up and sway on the spot while blinking dark patches from his vision. The worst were the times when they had to help him sit back down, head between his knees while the moment passed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know about you,” Jaskier said to him quietly one afternoon, hand resting on his ever growing stomach. “But I think I’m wearing Geralt out. This morning he couldn’t face the prospect of a second round!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I’ve only had one pregnancy where my libido didn’t hit rock bottom. Mostly I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and dreaming about cake.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cake?” Jaskier perked up. “Sex and cake are my two favourite things.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nodding, Cahir swallowed thickly as he thought about the cake. “It’s like no other you’ll have eaten before. It’s a speciality from Vicovaro. There was a bakery with a tea shop attached, a village over from where I grew up, it’s the only place I knew to make it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nobody paid much attention when Yennefer quietly got up and left the room, too caught up in either the relief that Cahir was thinking about food or smiling like some lovestruck fool at his expression.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wish I could show you. I think you’d like it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a flash of a portal from outside but it went ignored.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe, when we get a chance, we’ll go down there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I doubt the shop is there anymore,” Cahir admitted with a sad pout. “It’s been almost two decades since I’ve been there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The silence that settled over them was interrupted by Jaskier’s soft gasp of “oh!” and his hand on his stomach pressed down. All eyes were on him and watched as the shock morphed into a wide, delighted smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cahir was the one to interpret. “Baby kicked?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes!” Unthinking, Jaskier grabbed Cahir’s hand and pressed it down on his stomach. “Can you feel it? Geralt! Geralt! Come and feel it too!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eagerly, the others gathered around Jaskier, keen to feel the first kicks of the baby. Geralt was misty eyed as he felt their child. “They’re no longer just a heartbeat. They’re a kicking little human.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kneeling as he was in front of Jaskier, nobody could miss the adoring looks they gave each other. In an attempt to keep Cahir feeling included, Lambert knelt by his feet and leaned his head against his thigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I still think you’re perfect,” he murmured and closed his eyes as a cold hand ran through his hair. “Wish we could show you exactly how amazing we think you are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That had been a bit of a hiccough in their relationship. While Cahir didn’t feel appealing in any way, shape or form, nor did he have much of a sex drive, his boyfriends very much did. He had tried to accommodate their needs, tried to please them. The first time that happened, it had ended in almost tears, Eskel trembling at the idea that they’d almost forced Cahir into something he didn’t want. The debate of whether it was forcing or not when Cahir was willing to do it despite not wanting to was not one they ever got to the bottom of.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A portal flashed open and Yennefer stepped out with a look of disdain, a box in her hand. All eyes turned to her as she marched up to Cahir and presented him with said box. With some hesitance, Cahir took it, eyes darting to the others in the room and feeling awkward that they weren’t being given anything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Open it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doing as Yennefer said, he pulled the box open and stared in wide eyed wonder at the slice of cake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s-” Cahir’s vision blurred with tears. “It’s-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The cake you were describing, yes. Now try it and see if it’s what you remember it to be.” Yennefer stood behind the sofa and leaned on the backrest, looking over the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Cahir broke a corner off to try, he held the cake out in offering. “Would anyone else like to try it?” What he didn’t see was Yennefer glaring and shaking her head. Taking her cue, everyone else murmured polite refusals.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Only slightly disappointed that nobody wanted to share the cake but also relieved because it was a whole slice to himself, Cahir broke a little piece off and nibbled at it. There was a tense silence of anticipation in the room, waiting for his judgement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s exactly as I remembered it.” He turned wet eyes up at Yennefer. “Thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s the first time in over a month they’ve seen Cahir actually eat like he was enjoying the food. Everything else had been forced down and either came back up quickly or he was queasy to the point of not daring to move for several hours. To see the cake disappear and for Cahir to chase the last few errant crumbs down was a relief. It also had Vesemir cornering Yennefer in the kitchen later that day and Lambert caught the tail end of the conversation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No matter the cost,” Vesemir was saying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know. I’ll make sure she’ll do it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It sounded like some kind of extortion plan and Lambert wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Usually, he was the one who had the questionable morals and did dumb shit that landed him in trouble. To be the one on the other side of that line and find that Vesemir and Yennefer were scheming felt a little off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you plotting?” So much for subterfuge and spying, that wasn’t what Lambert had been trained for, it was more Jaskier’s schtick. Not that he actually expected an answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The woman who makes the cake, she’ll come here once a week to bake for as long as Cahir wants and enjoys the cake.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the matter was settled, Yennefer took her leave, allowing Lambert and Vesemir to argue over whether it was morally right or not. However, Lambert didn’t question it, he was fully in support of anything that helped Cahir. There was one question he did have though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you being so nice to Cahir? You’ve never treated any of us like this. Not even Geralt, who is also your Child Surprise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sighing, Vesemir leaned against the counter, looking every single one of his many years. “I turned my back on Destiny once already and Cahir got punished for it. I’m not letting him bear the brunt of my mistakes again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a sentiment Lambert could get behind. He’d found himself fiercely protective of Cahir, especially since the pregnancy. Not just because it was his child that Cahir was carrying but also because he loved Cahir as much as he loved Eskel. But while Eskel would live for as long as Lambert, especially if they were taking time away from the Path to raise a child, Cahir only had a human’s lifespan. They would lose him much sooner than they were ready to say goodbye to their third and that knowledge made their time together even more precious. Not to mention the fear that something could go wrong with the pregnancy. Lambert had made the mistake of talking to Yennefer about what was likely to come. Now, he had nightmares of standing with Eskel, a child in their arms and a fresh grave at their feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the fears were the worst, Lambert sought out Cahir for a cuddle. He never did explain why he suddenly needed to sit by the fire, boyfriend in his lap and face buried in the crook of his neck. In a way, it didn’t matter, Cahir was grateful for the reminder that, despite his slowly growing stomach, he was still wanted and needed by his boyfriends.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A couple of times Eskel had walked into their shared room, only to find that Lambert had Cahir laid out on the rug by the fire and was working on leaving kisses over every exposed bit of skin he could find. There was something warm and fierce that stirred in Eskel’s gut as he watched Lambert push Cahir’s top up to reveal the ever growing bump and lavish it with kisses before working up to his chest, mindful of the aches that sometimes flared up there. It was nigh on impossible to resist the temptation to settled on the rug and join in, worshipping Cahir with hands and lips where words wouldn’t do the job. That was the kind of closeness they all craved, the intimacy of sex without the expectation of an orgasm. It didn’t matter that Lambert was tracing the stretchmarks up Cahir’s hips and over his stomach, or that Eskel lavished attention on the darker patches of skin that had cropped up over Cahir’s body with the pregnancy. They weren’t there to get off, but rather to reassure each other that they were there, that their love was real. The few times Cahir got hard under such attention, he tried to apologise but the other two weren’t having any of it. Lambert eagerly wrapped his lips around Cahir while Eskel held him, whispering about how beautiful he looked, allowing himself to be taken care of by his loving boyfriends.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Weeks passed and there was a steady supply of Vicovarian cake that Cahir liked to share. Jaskier in particular took a fancy to it, the two of them could be found sat up on the kitchen counters, legs swinging as they had a snack of a cake slice or two. It was a habit that was encouraged, especially as Cahir seemed to have more energy and started trying to at least get down to the courtyard to watch the others train with Ciri.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hopping down from the counter, Jaskier grumbled. “Never in my life have I peed so much. Is this normal?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sadly,” Cahir replied around a mouthful of cake. “Say goodbye to sleeping through the night. You’ll be waking up to piss at least once a night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mock sulking, Jaskier stomped out to relieve himself. On his return, his hand was on his bump, a thoughtful look on his face. “Have you felt yours kick yet?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Almost shyly, Cahir nodded. “It’s not obvious just yet but for the last week or so.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Excited, Jaskier stepped closer, eyes on Cahir’s stomach. “May I feel?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The already reaching hand was grabbed around the wrist by Cahir, putting a stop to it. “Not yet. You won’t feel it and I don’t like people touching my stomach.” Well, Lambert and Eskel were exceptions but even they didn’t have a free pass to Cahir’s body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Disappointed, Jaskier drew his hand back, putting it back on his own stomach. His baby was asleep, no kicks or anything for the time being. It was a shame, he loved to feel the life growing and thriving, often lost in the fantasy of what life was going to be like once the baby arrived.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It feels more like trapped wind for the time being. In another week or so it will be kicks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh!” Jaskier’s eyes lit up. “I thought I was a fart machine recently, minus the farts.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Laughing softly, Cahir’s lips pressed into an amused line. “That will be the first kicks of your baby. It took me three pregnancies to figure it out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a bit of a slap to the face for Jaskier. He had everything about his pregnancy handed to him on a silver platter. From conception to every symptom and stage, he was surrounded by people who loved him and helped him. By contrast, Cahir had to figure it all out himself, was left to try and make sense of everything while alone and scared. It wasn’t fair. Jaskier wanted to make things better for Cahir but he had no idea how to. All he could do was be a friend and a pregnancy buddy now, to try and counter all the times before where Cahir didn’t have anybody.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was maybe a month left before Jaskier was due. He was happily shuffling towards the kitchen where the most amazing scents were coming from. It was sweet with a hint of spice that was familiar yet forgeign at the same time. By the time he made it to the kitchen, Jaskier had a good idea that it was Cahir’s cake that was being baked. He wanted to see if he could help, wondering whether it was Eskel who got roped into learning how to make it. They had a mystery baker in their midst because Jaskier had no idea who was actually responsible for the cake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This smells divine. Need a hand licking the bowls clean?” he asked as he stepped through the doorway and stopped. It wasn’t anyone he knew that was working in the kitchen. An older woman was whisking a mixture together until her eyes landed on Jaskier or, more accurately, his stomach. Her expression was one of surprise and confusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hand flying to his stomach, Jaskier stepped back, words escaping him for the first time in a while. Finally, he found his voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Geralt?! Geralt! Who is in our kitchen?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first to arrive at the scene was one of the wolves. She immediately put herself between Jaskier and the stranger, snarling and snapping. Not a moment later Geralt was there, just as protective of Jaskier, leading him away with an arm around his shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She bakes the cakes for Cahir. You shouldn’t have been here while she’d working.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While the woman was paid to bake and keep her silence, they had all been doing their best to keep Jaskier and Cahir out of sight. Not because of shame or anything like that but because they didn’t trust anyone outside of the family to have their best interest at heart. Geralt was going to need to have a chat with Yennefer and sort out what this all meant before the baker left.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The wolf followed Jaskier, pressed tight against his leg for reassurance. Jammed between two wolves, Jaskier leaned into Geralt’s warm presence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, she was jolly rude. Didn’t even offer to let me lick the bowls.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Laughing, Geralt shook his head. The damage was done now, it was simply a matter of controlling what it had unleashed now. Hopefully it would be nothing more than a little extra payment for the guaranteed silence of the baker. At least, Geralt had to believe that, otherwise things were about to get very interesting.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Once again Cahir thinks pulling away from everyone is the answer. Hint: it isn't.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Eagle eyed readers may note that the chapter count has gone up by one. Blame this chapter. Blame Tissaia.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Time seemed to move slowly yet days whipped by. Jaskier delighted in the fact he could balance a tray on his stomach and eat without the need for a table. It was a great boon for snack time in the Great Hall. Long gone were the evenings of drinking themselves silly. Now, they all settled around the fire, Jaskier with his feet up in Geralt’s lap and demanding massages to help with the swelling. By contrast, Cahir liked to lean against the warm hearth, legs splayed out to make room for his stomach. It kept him a little apart from the group but he could keep an eye on everyone without being touched. The bigger his stomach got, the less Cahir wanted to be touched, shying away from hands, even when they tried to be reassuring as he had to catch his breath at the top of the stairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was a concern for Eskel. He hated seeing how Cahir visibly struggled to get enough air after even the smallest of physical exertions. Alas, there was nothing he could do other than hover without touching, ready to help in any way that Cahir would allow. Sometimes there was a spike to Cahir’s scent, a tinge of sudden pain. Whatever was hurting him, he masked it well, moving to hide any flinch. It meant that Eskel couldn’t say anything when it happened, not wanting to make Cahir feel uncomfortable. However, he wasn’t the only one to notice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hate how he doesn’t tell us what hurts,” Lambert grumbled, face smushed into Eskel’s chest. It was just the two of them in bed, Cahir had opted to sleep in his own room as he struggled to get comfortable at night and got up frequently. He also started wrapping up more, layering clothes and claiming he was cold. The only good thing about that was that he seemed to have a preference for Eskel’s shirts, often stealing them to wear for a few days before washing them and returning them to their rightful owner.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We could always ask him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the end, they didn’t have to. They were geared up to ask, having practiced the right words and spent a while figuring out how not to sound condescending or like worrywarts. It was all for naught thanks to Cahir’s persistent preference for no doors. The sun was just peeking above the clouds, casting everything in a golden hue when Eskel and Lambert stood in the doorway, knocking on the frame. They’d caught Cahir getting ready for the day and while they’d usually stare with appreciation, this time it was horror.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened?” Eskel was already stepping into the room, invitation be damned. Cahir’s stomach had a couple of bruises blooming along it and, much to Eskel’s shame, he couldn’t help but fear that they were self-inflicted. Maybe Cahir had changed his mind or felt he’d suffered enough already and didn’t want to baby anymore, just like the one Jaskier helped bury.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arms wrapped protectively around Cahir’s middle, trying to hide the bruises but Eskel wasn’t having any of it. He reached for Cahir, only to have Lambert bark at him, “Eskel, step away!” at the same time as a menacing growl echoed through the room from the wolves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not understanding, Eskel looked to his partner in confusion before looking back at Cahir. Only this time, he looked at his face which was pale with large, fear filled eyes. Immediately, Eskel was backing off, ashamed he had frightened Cahir so badly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pained but needing answers, Eskel sat down on the ground and ignored the way the wolves got between him and Cahir. In a way, he was glad the wolves seemed so loyal to Cahir, willing to turn on anyone who they thought might hurt him. It was the protection Cahir definitely deserved, even if it broke Eskel’s heart to know he scared his partner.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you do that to yourself?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words were quiet but they filled the whole room. There was so much pain laced through them, Cahir had to hear it too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!” There was shock and disgust in that one single word. “I couldn’t- I wouldn’t-” Taking a step back, Cahir looked hurt and miserable. “Do you really think that of me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eskel shouldn’t have opened his mouth. He should have tried to stick to their script because now they were all freefalling towards rapid misery.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t,” Lambert cut in. “But you won’t let us touch you, you hide away under layers of clothes. I’ve felt Jaskier and Geralt’s baby kick more times than I care to remember but not once have I felt ours.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arms slowly lowering, Cahir stared at his own stomach, cheeks flushed with emotions. His hand floated above one of the bruises before turning teary eyes at Lambert. “It hurts too much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That made no sense. It wasn’t like they wanted to do anything more than place a gentle, warm hand over Cahir’s stomach so they could meet their child and feel a kick or two. There was another spike of pain that soured the already bitter air and Lambert watched Cahir.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s happening? What hurts?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without a word, Cahir gestured to his stomach and the visible bruises. For a beat there was no further clarify then Eskel inhaled sharply in understanding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s the baby, isn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cahir nodded. “They’re a very active one. Barely sleeps, is quite fond of stomping on my kidneys during the night. Mornings tend to be ribs and lungs.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There wasn’t much anyone could do about that. It wasn’t like they could tell the baby to keep still or even give Cahir a break. Well, there was one thing they could do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“May I touch you?” Eskel held a hand out towards Cahir who, after a moment’s hesitation, stepped closer and sank down to his knees. “If it hurts, tell me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A timid nod was the only agreement but Eskel would take it. His palm was warm with tightly controlled igni and he lightly held it over Cahir’s stomach, allowing him to feel the heat before there was any contact between them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Cahir swayed into the heat, eyes fluttering closed and Eskel took it as a good sign. Raising his other hand, he cupped the bump that was now a significant size, two hands not enough to cover it. Looking up at Lambert, Eskel motioned him closer with his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve seen the way you hold your back as you walk. Can Lambert touch you there?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eyes still closed, Cahir nodded. He tensed a little as Lambert settled behind him. All nerves disappeared though as another pair of warmer than natural hands smoothed over his lower back, easing tight muscles into something more relaxed. Gradually, Cahir sank into the touches more, huffing softly. As gently as he could, Eskel guided Cahir’s forehead against his shoulder, encouraging him to rest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We want to look after you. You’re not on your own anymore.” His hand returned to Cahir’s stomach and breath caught in his throat as something fluttered under his palm. Silently, he slipped a hand behind Cahir and pulled Lambert’s hand to the front, letting it rest on the bump.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Lambert’s awed voice both broke and mended Eskel’s heart. He could feel Cahir’s smile against his neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Told you this one was active.” There was another waft of pain through the air and the baby kicked and, so close, Eskel could hear Cahir’s breath hitch. He willed his hands warmer to try and counter the pain as much as he could. The action was rewarded with a soft “thank you” which wasn’t really necessary, except that wasn’t all Cahir said, “for not giving up on me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not men of words, neither Eskel nor Lambert said anything but they both dropped kisses on any bit of bare skin they could reach. The wolves decided to join in too, one shoving her head in Cahir’s lap while the other stretched out next to them, pressing her back against Cahir’s leg.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The afternoon saw a bit of excitement. As Jaskier was only a week or two away from giving birth, it was decided that they’d get a bit more help in. There was only one person Yennefer trusted outside of Triss and, without much fanfare, Tissaia stepped through a portal into the Great Hall. Her eyes landed on Cahir who was returning from a short walk to try and ease the cramping of his legs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, you must be the happy father to be,” Tissaia greeted, eyes on Cahir’s stomach. She reached to put a hand on it, only to have it viciously slapped away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t touch me!” The coldly hissed words were accompanied by a growl and the wolves flanked him, one snapping at Tissaia’s wrist where it was still outstretched.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually, that would be me.” Jaskier appeared from behind, easily distracting from the fact that Tissaia was subject to not just an annoyed pregnant man and his two wolves but also two witchers who now flanked him and were looking ready for a fight. “Come, let me show you around.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just like that, Jaskier whisked Tissaia away, looking over his shoulder with a small, apologetic smile at Cahir. It would have been fine too if not for the fact that as Cahir turned, he let out a small, pained cry and fell to his knees, tipping forward onto one hand while the other pressed against his ribs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sweetheart?” Lambert was knelt next to him, a hand hovering above his back. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tears dripped to the stone floor as Cahir bowed his head, teeth clamped around his lower lip. He shook his head, wheezing on a breath. Vesemir dropped down next to Lambert, having no issues with putting a hand on Cahir’s shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re okay.” It was a blatant lie when none of them knew what on earth was going on. “Deep breath for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t happen. The breath gurgled into another pained noise and Vesemir frowned. “Eskel, bring him to the infirmary.” There was no need to remind him to be gentle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pale and covered in a sheen of sweat, Cahir was limp in Eskel’s arms, barely making a noise when he was eased onto a bed. Immediately, Vesemir and Tissaia were looking him over, trying to find the source of the trouble. The only obvious thing was the way Cahir clutched at his ribs and struggled with each breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lift your hand away,” Tissaia ordered but Cahir shook his head, not trusting her. In fact, he tried to roll away and weakly lashed out when she tried to pin him down. Lambert was immediately pushing between them, back to Cahir and glaring at Tissaia.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t touch him, don’t force him to do anything. Got it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Palms up in front of her, Tissaia tried to pacify the suddenly angry and protective- She wasn’t even sure who Lambert was. Maybe the other father? Or maybe that was Eskel who was on the other side of the bed, softly talking to Cahir. What was important though is that Cahir could finally talk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My ribs.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally, something to go on. Large, careful hands peeled back Cahir’s borrowed shirt to reveal that there was nothing there. However, as Vesemir tried to gently touch the area, Cahir gasped and froze, not even breathing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Broken. But how?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you been eating well?” Tissaia asked, a little impatient. Broken bones wasn’t something they could do much with, especially not when there was already magic coursing through Cahir’s body, there was no telling how the spells would interact.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s had a shit time of it, cake and tea is all he can manage.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A derisive snort from Tissaia gave her opinion on the matter. “Baby’s been leaching what it needs from your body then. Bled your bones dry and brittle no doubt.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Trying to make a little light of the situation, Eskel pointed at Lambert. “Little one takes after you. You’ve always been the more physically active of us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It pulled a laugh from Cahir which choked off into a groan and he rolled onto his side, trying to curl in on himself. There wasn’t much that they could do for his ribs other than let time take care of it. Plenty of rest was prescribed and Tissaia held back on trying to find more foods Cahir could eat. Throwing up was already a miserable experience, to do it with a broken rib was that much worse. Instead, Cahir was encouraged to lie against Eskel’s chest or settled in Lambert’s lap and bask in the touch of igni warmed palms on tired and sore muscles. It didn’t make sleep any easier for him but, against all hopes, he was back in Lambert and Eskel’s bed. More often than not, he woke to at least one pair of eyes watching over him, keeping him safe and as comfortable as possible. In a way, it was the most cared for and tender pregnancy Cahir had ever had.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The babies finally arrive. Please welcome Marni and Samu.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heads up for blood, child birth and c-section ahead!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Geralt! Geralt! The baby is coming!” Jaskier hollered and the training grounds froze as he clutched at the nearest wall, hand on his stomach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh shit.” Geralt dropped his sword and everyone lurched into action, rushing to Jaskier’s aid. Everyone except Cahir who looked up from his book. He’d been alternating between reading and giving commentary on the forms and fighting styles. While in no condition to train himself, he could still be part of the family.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your waters break?” he called leisurely from his cocoon of blankets.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Jaskier yelled back, breathing out huffs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh you’d know.” Picking up his book again, Cahir returned to his reading. “Walk around a bit, you’ll be fine in a minute.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taking offense, Jaskier glared at Cahir. “I’m going into labour.” Indignantly he pulled himself upright and took a couple of steps towards Cahir, hand up and ready to lecture while Geralt hovered beside him. “I know my body better than-oh. It’s gone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Cahir didn’t say “I told you”, his smirk spoke volumes for him. However, he did impart a bit of wisdom. “You’ve got about a week still.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Long gone were the days Jaskier could dramatically flop down next to someone. Instead, there was a fair amount of huffing and puffing, grumbles of “oh my back” and general noise as he lowered himself down. Getting up was even worse and usually Geralt resorted to pulling him up rather than watch the spectacle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The corner of a blanket was lifted and Cahir offered Jaskier an in to his warm nest. There were still at least three layers of clothing and throws between them but Jaskier had been one of the few people allowed close to Cahir. Obviously Lambert and Eskel were allowed and, to a certain extent so was Vesemir. However, his comfort was very much tested and pushed by anyone else approaching him. At best, Yennefer could check his slowly healing ribs but that was about it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If giving birth is like that, I don’t think it will be too bad,” Jaskier said, confident in his words. “I think it will be fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rather than say anything, Cahir reached out and patted Jaskier on the head with a fond, if despairing, smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There were more instances of Jaskier randomly announcing that the baby was coming. At first everybody jumped, fearing this was the moment Jaskier actually was going into labour. However, Eskel was the first to cotton on and he glanced to Cahir each time. If Cahir didn’t look worried, Eskel didn’t bother getting up. Soon, it was only Geralt rolling his eyes and getting up to pat Jaskier on the back and make him walk around a bit to ease the cramps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A warm hand on his back will help,” Eskel offered, igni on his palm making the air shimmer with heat.”Obviously a very gentle one, you don’t want to cook him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Snickering, Lambert reached for a second helping of food. Cahir was settled next to him with his slice of cake which had been doused in some kind of concoction Tissaia had created. It helped with a lot of the issues around making sure Cahir stayed healthy, a week of it had already made quite the difference.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Deciding he wanted a drink and a walk to stretch cramping legs, Jaskier got up, waving off the others when they offered to help him. “I’ll want that warm hand when I get back though. It sounds nice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is,” Cahir called after him, a little smug as he pressed into Eskel’s palm, basking in the warmth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Conversation moved on and nobody paid too much attention to what was going on in the kitchen until an ominous “uh-oh” floated out. A soft “what now?” from Geralt was quickly wiped away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Geralt? Could you come help please?” Much more timid than usual and Geralt muttered under his breath as he got up just in time for Jaskier to peer around the doorway. His trousers looked like they were soaked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Geralt, go to him.” Cahir’s voice was tight, eyes wide. “Lambert, get Yennefer and tell her to prepare. The baby’s coming.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In a flurry of motion the dining hall came alive. Geralt was by Jaskier immediately, pulling him in for a hug. Gone was the bravado as the reality of the situation set in and Jaskier realised just what was about to come.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not that Cahir looked any better. Eskel’s main concern was how pale and scared he suddenly looked. It had been so easy to pretend that this was all just a thing to get through and ignore the reality of their situation. But now they were confronted with it. Jaskier was about to have a baby and Cahir would be in a similar position in about two weeks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It will be a long afternoon,” Cahir said, trying to put on a brave face. “Geralt will be glad he’s a witcher, his fingers will be squeezed within an inch of breaking, I’m sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pulling Cahir in, Eskel let him hide against his chest. He could see through the facade of the joke, could smell the panic on Cahir. Lambert returned to the dining hall a little out of breath. He cocked an eyebrow at Eskel in question and, at the gentle tip of a head, took the invitation to settle on Cahir’s other side. The three of them sat like that until Cahir stopped trembling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the infirmary, Jaskier was chattering away even as he slipped out of his clothes and put on a gown Yennefer had found him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Honestly, I know this isn’t a fashion show but could you have found something a little more in season and less frumpy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yennefer rolled her eyes. “You can do this naked for all I care. We just need to make sure the baby comes out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Jaskier was all for exhibitionism and showing off, he didn’t really feel all that comfortable being naked in front of Yennefer, Tissaia and Triss. Especially not in his current state. While Cahir had been given a free pass because of his history, Jaskier had volunteered to be looked over by the sorceresses. Their fascination with his changed biology was quite cold and clinical, it made Jaskier squirm, he liked being admired and looked at but not like a curious specimen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At least I can comfort myself in knowing I’ll look better in it than you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The matter was settled and Jaskier was in his new robe. He was about to get settled on the bed when Triss shook her head. “Walk around for a while. There’s no real need to be confined to here just yet. Stay warm, don’t wander too far and Geralt can always carry you back if you need.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Reassuring words, well, not really. Jaskier nodded and frowned. His stomach had been aching with cramps but they weren’t too bad and they were far enough apart that he wasn’t overly concerned. All the horror stories he’d heard about childbirth on his travels were surely an exaggeration. The one birth he’d been around for was his sister and that had been quite a noisy affair. Then again, Jaskier had to inherit his dramatics from someone and it sure wasn’t his father. Maybe his mother had been the one he’d got his flair from.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Walking around didn’t help as such and every now and then Jaskier had to stop and clutch at Geralt or a wall and wait for the wave of cramps to pass.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is taking too long, this is not how I had planned it,” he grumbled as he waddled down another corridor. “We should ask Cahir if this is normal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The only issue was, they couldn’t find Cahir. Or Lambert or Eskel for that matter. When asked, Vesemir only shrugged and turned his attention back to Ciri and their lesson. A little put out Jaskier started his way back to the infirmary, grumbling about friends deserting him when he needed them the most.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Cahir had given in to the urge to run. Not that he got far, nor was he alone. But the reality of his situation was setting in and he couldn’t face it, not yet. Instead, he was curled up in Eskel’s lap, hand clutching at Lambert’s. They weren’t talking but neither was Cahir resting. His eyes were open, distant and absolutely lost. Finally, he broke the silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You won’t let them take the baby, will you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Never. You and the baby will be under our protection. Nobody is stealing either of you,” Lambert promised, solemn even though it was a bit of a ridiculous thing to say. As if anyone in the keep would be there to steal Cahir’s baby. Still, anything that helped ease Cahir’s worries, they would repeat over and over again as often as he needed to hear. “We’ll both be there, holding your hand through it and making sure you get to hold our baby first.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No matter how quiet I was before, how little noise I made, they always knew when to come.” Tears brimmed in Cahir’s eyes. “I couldn’t fight them off. They took all of them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not this one.” Eskel was firm, hoping that his certainty would help Cahir. “Nobody is taking your baby. We’ll make sure of it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nodding, Cahir tried to believe it and he pushed his face into the crook of Eskel’s neck. He had to trust the other two, logically knew he could even if every instinct in him was screaming to run, leave and never come back in case someone took the baby. This was his one chance to keep the baby and he had to weigh up the risks of staying versus running. In the end, he stayed, still tense in Eskel’s arms but knowing he needed to trust his partners. It was going to have to be enough for now, he still had a couple of weeks to come to terms with reality.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the infirmary Jaskier was groaning, trying to breathe through the newest wave of labour cramps. It was no longer easy or a mystery to figure out why his mum had screamed so much. Labour hurt, giving birth was a deeply unpleasant process and Jaskier grasped for any herbs Triss offered to help with the pains. Even with them it was still bad enough that each wave made his brain white out until all Jaskier could think of was how bad it hurt. At least Geralt was next to him, holding his hand and not even wincing when Jaskier crushed fingers in his fist with each wave of pain. Sweat was making his hair stick to his forehead but Jaskier was far beyond caring about looks - whoever thought they’d look good while giving birth was obviously naive as fuck. And yes, Jaskier was definitely referring to himself as naive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The waves of pain were coming closer together now, each one making him cry out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can’t you just get it out of me?” He was panting, covered in sweat and couldn’t care less that there were people around him. For all Jaskier cared, the whole of the Continent could be in audience and he would not behave any differently. As another surge of pain pulled on his midsection, he screamed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re doing so well,” Geralt tried to reassure, reaching to wipe sweat soaked hair from his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just want it done,” Jaskier sniffled. “Why did we think this was a good idea? I changed my mind!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bit late now,” Yennefer said. She, Triss and Tissaia had been preparing all afternoon, and, ask Jaskier’s labour progressed, spent more time with him, rotating out as needed. None of them knew quite what to expect, it wasn’t like any of them were midwives or had much experience in the way of regular births. With Jaskier, there was nothing regular about it and they were all equally worried and intrigued.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hours passed, it was getting late and Jaskier had gone from cursing and screaming to moaning low with each contraction. He was pale and shaking, trying to catch his breath whenever he could.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We are never doing this again,” he huffed to Geralt. “You’re not getting your dick anywhere near me again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll miss it eventually. We’ll just cancel the spell and you’ll be safe.” Yennefer patted Jaskier on the shoulder without much sympathy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As soon as the kid is out, you’re cancelling it. Ow. Ow! OW!” Jaskier curled in a little and Yennefer nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course. Now push on the next contraction. The baby is coming.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Exactly as she had said, the baby was indeed coming. Jaskier screamed as he pushed, hand crushing Geralt’s and tears slipped down his cheek. He fell silent with a final push and the cry of a baby filled the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Congratulations,” Yennefer said as she wrapped the baby in a swaddle, “it’s a girl.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Marni,” Jaskier sighed and looked at the bundle being offered to him. “Filthy, just like her Dad already.” Somewhat disgusted by her gooey state, Jaskier passed her to Geralt without much fuss, content for him to deal with it all. Tired, he flopped back on the bed and laughed in disbelief. “Never again. That was horrific.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dealing with the afterbirth and tidying up, everyone was exhausted by the end, it was almost three in the morning and they were desperate for some rest. The infirmary was tidied up, Jaskier and Marni tucked away in bed with Geralt looking after them, there was just one thing left to do. Exhausted, Yennefer pulled the spellbook towards herself and opened it on the page needed to fulfil Jaskier’s last demand. Cancelling the spell was comparatively easy, just burning a couple of herbs and muttering an incantation. It was a relief to be able to cancel it. While low powered, it was a constant drain on Yennefer’s Chaos and she sighed, flexing her magic as it was no longer drawn upon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silence fell on Kaer Morhen as everyone finally settled down for some much needed rest. No more screaming from Jaskier, no crying from Marni, even the sounds of cleaning up faded into nothing. It was a blissful calm, exactly as it should be for the time of night. Until Lambert woke with a snort as sharp teeth gently clamped on his arm and pulled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck off!” He snarled at the wolf and pulled away, finding he had more room in bed than usual. Eskel was behind him, grumbling but still asleep. There was no sign of Cahir. The wolf whined and grabbed his arm again and Lambert growled in his throat. Whatever it was, the wolf was stupidly insistent. Grumbling, he sat up and scrubbed his eyes. “Alright. Alright. What do you want?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His question didn’t need an answer as he heard an all to familiar voice gasp almost soundlessly and his nose picked up the telltale smell of pain and fear. Lambert had a moment to think “oh shit” before he was out of the bed and stumbling towards the noise. In the far corner of the room, Cahir was pressed against the wall, tears streaming down his face, a hand pushing on his bump as if that would relieve whatever agony he had now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cahir?” Lambert approached in a hurry, only stopping when the wolf that had been pressed against Cahir’s side crouched low and snarled at him, full throated and menacing. Turning his head but eyes not leaving Cahir, Lambert hollered, “Eskel!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Each time he tried to step closer, the wolf growled and snapped, teeth gnashing together. There was no doubt in Lambert that if he got within lunging distance, he would be ripped into without hesitation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This wasn’t meant to happen,” Lambert muttered. “You’ve still got two weeks to go. Aren’t these the ones you walk off?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” Cahir’s voice broke into a hoarse whine. His head tipped back against the wall and the tendons on his neck stood out while his face scrunched up in pain. Lambert could count his shallow, panting breaths as his chest heaved. “Something’s wrong. He’s coming now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally Eskel stumbled into the corner and gasped. The wolf snapped at him too as he approached. Without hesitation he cast axii at her, subduing her and he crouched next to Cahir.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It wasn’t me, I promise!” Cahir panted and squirmed as pain rocked his whole body. “I didn’t try to kill the baby. Didn’t want to make him come early.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There were tear tracks on his face, mingled with sweat and Eskel nodded. “We’re going to go to the infirmary. Lambert, get Yennefer and the others.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t get up. I can’t walk,” Cahir replied, barely catching his breath between bouts of pain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll carry you.” As Eskel picked Cahir up, there was no damp patch from broken waters, no sign that the baby wanted to come out. However, there was no denying the fact that Cahir was shaking as his muscles seized up with each wave of pain before going limp, a little dazed with agony. Rushing them down to the infirmary, Eskel was relieved to find that Lambert had managed to rouse the three sorceresses who were looking rather unimpressed with the state of things until Cahir was placed on a table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the light of the infirmary, he looked pale, lips bitten raw as he clamped down on them every time the pain hit. Only Yennefer approached him, looking a little frazzled and drawn herself. No doubt her nerves were frayed thanks to Jaskier’s dramatics. She didn’t really fancy a repeat of that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We need to see what’s going on.” The contractions were too close together and too strong to make stripping easy. There was only one other option. “We’ll cut your trousers off. It’s the quickest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Triss passed her a pair of scissors and Lambert watched as Cahir froze as much as humanly possible when in pain. He hated how he could see Cahir’s fists quivering by his side, nostrils flared and tears making already large and fear filled eyes wet. Next to him, Eskel looked similarly distressed and Lambert squeezed his shoulder. The near silence from Cahir was eerie, it was obviously setting the others on edge too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to hold back,” Tissaia tried to reassure. “You can’t possibly make more noise than Jaskier.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It made no difference and Cahir let out a shuddering breath, curling onto his side as soon as he could, fingers digging into the meat of his own shoulder in an attempt to claw the agony away. Eskel stepped in at that, carefully prying the fingers away and slipping his hand into Cahir’s. He didn’t say anything when a death grip formed around his hand, merely glanced for Lambert who stood on the other side of the bed and stroked through Cahir’s hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a lot of muttering from the sorceresses and Lambert didn’t like it. They kept glancing towards Cahir but were making no move to help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You going to deliver the kid or what?” he barked as Cahir’s eyes slipped shut as another contraction passed, giving him a few precious moments of reprieve.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yennefer was the one to approach them, face drawn into a serious frown. “We would if there was a means to it. But, despite Cahir’s body trying, there is no means for the baby to come.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not understanding, Eskel blinked in confusion. “But he’s done it before? And Jaskier didn’t have this problem?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The spell is no longer active. It’s probably triggered changes in Cahir we weren’t anticipating.” Tissaia looked grim as she explained. “Recasting the spell won’t solve the issue though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So what you’re saying is that there’s no solution?” Eskel didn’t want to believe that but that’s what he was hearing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cut him out,” Cahir rasped. “Just get him out. I’ve seen it done.” He didn’t say that the parent rarely survived the procedure. But if the child was left, they would both die anyway. There was no point in two deaths when one could be prevented.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few alarmed grumbles of disagreement were silenced by Tissaia. “Yennefer, you make the cut, Triss, be ready to take the baby. I’ll help with the healing. Eskel, can you axii Cahir to keep still?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Time was of the essence, if Eskel concentrated, he could hear the baby’s heartbeat, rapid and irregular. Despite how much he hated to control his partner like that, there was no other way that he could see. Casting the sign, he murmured “don’t move, you won’t feel a thing”.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a moment’s hesitation, Yennefer reached for one of the knives in the infirmary’s drawers. Steeling herself, she made a swift incision, watching as blood began to flow over Cahir’s skin. She didn’t miss the way he spasmed, the axii obviously not having taken as good a hold as hoped for. Opening the cut, she eased the baby out and it was whisked away by Triss to be looked over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” Cahir’s voice broke. “Don’t take my baby. Please. I did everything you asked.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Keep still!” Yennefer pushed on Cahir’s sternum to keep him down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t hear him cry!” Panic was taking over and Cahir struggled. “Where’s my baby?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In all his nightmares, Lambert had never imagined it would be both Cahir and the baby that they lost. Because he could see Triss bent over the small, blood smeared body, whispering magic and trying her best. Meanwhile, Yennefer was struggling, even with Tissaia’s help, to close the incision on Cahir’s stomach. There was so much blood, it dripped to the floor and Lambert couldn’t zone out the splash as it hit the ground. Looking over to Eskel, he could see the same fears and realisations settling over his partner and Lambert wanted to cry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sharp wail sounded in the room as the baby finally took his first breath and decided to use it for a cry. Lambert sighed in relief at that and he could see Eskel’s shoulders sag too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My baby.” Cahir let their hands go so he could hold his child, tears freely spilling down his face. “My Samu.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s too much blood,” Yennefer growled. “Tissaia, you need to do it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do what?” Eskel’s head snapped up with his question, eyes dragged from watching Cahir and their child. Samu definitely had Eskel’s jaw and nose but his hair was the same colour as Cahir’s. However, when scrunched up eyes opened to stare at the world, Eskel could have sworn it was Lambert’s honeyed tones staring up at them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tissaia took her place at the end of the bed. “Cahir, if I do this, you will never have children again. Spell or no spell.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good.” Cahir was rapidly fading, eyes blinking shut for longer and longer. His skin was almost translucent and papery white. “Don’t want more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Take this as a gift from Aretuza for our mistakes which made you endure so much.” With that Tissaia made a couple more cuts, decisive and without hesitation. Cahir barely even grunted at the pain, lax and barely conscious. It made it easy for Eskel to scoop up Samu and shush the desperate little while Cahir made in the back of his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll look after him until you’re better. We’re not going anywhere.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lambert took Cahir’s hand in his, worried by how cold it felt. At the other end of the bed, Tissaia chanted as she threw something in the fire and it erupted in flames. Whatever she was doing, it seemed to be working because under all the blood, Cahir’s wound was healing, closing as his stretchmarks faded until only smooth skin was visible. As the fire died down, Tissaia stumbled back and was guided to sit on the floor by Triss,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s only one other I know of who braved the transformation awake.” Her eyes were on Yennefer who pressed her lips into a thin line of acknowledgement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On the table, Cahir was unconscious, bloodied but breathing and seemingly whole again. Lambert turned to the sorceresses. “What the hell did you do to him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Samu fussed in Eskel’s arms, kicking in the loose swaddle until he was hoisted higher against Eskel’s chest and settled in large hands that were bigger than Samu himself when cupped together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We saved him,” Tissaia replied, still on the floor. “He’ll now live as long as any mage or sorceress. His scars, wounds and old injuries healed. You’ll have a witcher’s lifetime with him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the stunned silence it was easy to hear Eskel’s barely whispered “thank you”. They’d been given a chance to be a family for longer than a human’s life would allow. It was something they couldn’t have ever imagined or dreamed of.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is he safe to move back to the bedroom?” Lambert asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He is. He’ll likely sleep for a good few hours as his body and mind have been through a lot. We’ll clean him up first,” Triss replied.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was cut off by a growled “no” from Eskel. “We’ll clean him up. Thank you for your help. You should go and get some rest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a few moments staring, the sorceresses nodded. There was nothing more to be done other than cleaning up. Some of it could wait until later. Between Lambert and Eskel, they wiped Cahir clean, cut away his blood soaked shirt which had been pushed up over his stomach. In the end, they wrapped Cahir in a blanket, Lambert carrying him while Eskel followed with Samu in his arms. They settled Cahir on their shared bed and placed Samu next to him. Instinct had Cahir rolling to face their baby, an arm curling protectively around him but not quite touching.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Settling in on chairs, Lambert and Eskel watched, hands linked, as the wolves slinked in and took up guard, one at the foot of the bed and one on the floor on the door side. Two human and two animal wolves watched over Cahir and Samu, making sure they were safe, protected and would wake in the presence of those who loved and cared for them, ready to start their new life as a family.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Remember the baker who saw Jaskier while pregnant?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Babies were difficult. That was Jaskier’s assessment as he was woken up yet again by Marni crying in the night. He wanted to cry too, it wasn’t fair that Marni got to hog that particular activity. Gone were the nights of sleeping soundly until late morning, the undisturbed stretches of sleep, even the quiet afternoons were a thing of the past. For all that he imagined what their family would be like with the addition of a baby, Jaskier was finding that the reality was a lot different. Marni wouldn’t latch to start with, wouldn’t feed like she should have. She cried at every opportunity. Even when she was clean, belly full and had all the lullabies in the world sung at her, she seemed determined to drown out Jaskier’s song with her screams. It was mighty unfair. Stumbling into the nursery, Jaskier couldn’t understand how Samu’s crib was empty yet again. The first few nights Cahir slept on the floor by the crib, wolves curled around him until Eskel had had enough and fashioned a crude three sided crib they pushed against their own bed. Now, the four of them slept in the same bedroom and as soon as Samu even fussed a little, Cahir was up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took its toll, more than once Jaskier had walked into the nursery to find Samu in his crib and Cahir sleeping in the rocking chair next to it, fingers pushed through the bars and Samu clutching them. If only Jaskier could judge him for that, alas he had been embarrassed to find his chin hitting his chest as he fell asleep at the dinner table. Meal times on the whole were another source of frustration for Jaskier. He struggled to hold Marni while eating. She kicked and fussed no matter what he did and more often than not, Geralt had to hold her so Jaskier could eat. By contrast, Cahir held Samu in one hand while eating with the other. If Samu was having a moment, he seemed to be able to settle the baby without much effort, no matter whether Eskel or Lambert offered to hold their child.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was something Jaskier had noted and mentioned to Geralt. Cahir never let Samu out of his sight, not even when his partners had the baby.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At least I let you take Marni whenever you want,” he commented snidely as they watched Cahir. Somehow, he’d managed to fashion a sling to hold Samu against his chest, leaving both hands free. It was Geralt who asked him how to do that, more than content to carry Marni around, she seemed to be quieter with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I don’t have you nattering away, I have Marni,” Geralt laughed and bounced Marni a little, getting a happy coo from her. She was growing at an alarming rate, Samu not far behind her. It also meant they both fed a huge amount, day in, day out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took a lot of convincing but Cahir relented to leaving Samu in his crib for a night, Lambert and Eskel were desperate to spend time with him, without the baby. They all knew that if Samu cried, they would go to him but he was such a good baby, they could get a good few hours of peace and quiet - unlike Geralt and Jaskier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A romantic night turned into a cuddle pile of snores. All three of them were quite exhausted, Lambert didn’t even stir when the shrill cry of a baby went up and Eskel only grumbled as he was jostled by a moving body. In the other room, Jaskier sleepily nudged Geralt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your child is crying.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s yours too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not right now. I need to sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Geralt was half out of bed when he realised the crying had stopped. Heart stilling in his chest at the cold wash of fear, he ran to the nursery, terrified of what he would find. From the doorway he could see in the half dark as Cahir sat in the rocking chair, Marni cradled carefully in his arms and nursing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cahir?” Geralt stepped into the room, cautiously. He got to watch as Cahir blinked awake, stifling a yawn. “Thank you for helping with her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was almost comedic the way Cahir glanced down and his eyes widened in horror, obviously torn between stopping but also not wanting to upset Marni.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am so sorry!” The thing was, he actually looked terrified. “I wasn’t thinking. Just heard a baby crying.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Approaching him, Geralt crouched by his feet and put a hand on his knee. “Thank you. I can take over if you want, we have a bottle I can warm for her. But if you don’t mind, she seems very content with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nodding, Cahir wet his lips. “Okay, I can do that. I’m really sorry. I just heard a baby crying and wasn’t thinking.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slowly, Marni was done and Cahir passed her over to Geralt to be burped just as Eskel staggered into the nursery. “What’s going on?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eskel!” Cahir fidgeted with the skin on his finger nervously. “I fed the wrong baby. I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whatever he had been about to say was cut off by Eskel’s loud barking laugh. It had both Samu and Marni crying immediately, even as he clamped a hand over his mouth. “You what now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rocking Samu in his arms, Cahir looked sheepish while Geralt scowled. He’d almost had Marni nodding off. Amidst the crying, Cahir looked so very torn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait until Lambert hears about this, he’s going to piss himself laughing.” Eskel stepped up to Cahir and kissed him, careful to not crush Samu between them. “You’re such a dumbass and I love you. Fed the wrong baby.” He chuckled and shook his head. “Might as well bring him back to bed with us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With another glance at Geralt and Marni, Cahir followed Eskel back to their bedroom, relieved to have Samu back in his reach. Sure enough, not 15 seconds later, Geralt could hear Lambert howling with laughter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Much like during pregnancy, the children grew at an alarming rate. Within weeks Samu was sitting on the table in front of Cahir as they ate, Lambert spooning iced pulped fruits into the baby’s mouth. The idyllic moment was shattered by the wail of an unimpressed child.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you want!” Jaskier sounded strained. “You howled through the night already. Can’t you just sleep please?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rounded the corner, holding a squirming Marni who was red in the face, drawing in another lungful for a powerful cry. Truth be told, Jaskier looked ready to burst into tears too. He tried bouncing Marni but that only made her scream louder, holding her close wasn’t helping either. In the end, Cahir took pity on him, “Esk, mind Samu.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Getting up, he waited for Eskel to shuffle into his spot and squeezed his partner’s shoulder in thanks before approaching Jaskier. Since Tissaia’s gift, he had regained a lot of his old grace, no longer weighed down by aches and pains from the toll the pregnancies had taken on his body. Reaching out, he asked, “May I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without hesitation Jaskier passed Marni over who was red in the face. He wiped ineffectively at his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know what’s gotten into her. She’s been howling pretty much all night. Geralt took her to one of the towers so she wouldn’t wake everyone else.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the usual gentle rocking didn’t work, Cahir gave Marni a long look, watching how she mouthed at her fist as he cried. Not bothering to ask or explain himself, he slipped a finger in her mouth, running it along her gums. After a moment there was silence as Marni gummed at his finger with a burble.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s teething.” Carrying her to the table, Cahir sat her next to Samu and picked up a spoon, and offering up a bit of the iced fruit pulp. It seemed to work like a dream. “I guess she’s been quite rough when feeding?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaskier nodded sullenly, watching as Cahir fed Marni and rubbed absentmindedly at his chest. Marni really had been quite painful to feed of late. Pouting, Jaskier slumped at the table. “How do you know all this stuff?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve had years to do nothing but ponder the ‘what ifs’ while daydreaming of different futures.” Cahir took pity on Jaskier. “Go have a nap with Geralt. We can look after Marni for a bit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sagging a little, Jaskier nodded and stood back up. “Thank you.” he wished the sudden time alone with Geralt could mean something more intimate and fun. However, he knew that they would both be snoring away, cuddled up in bed for as long as they could. He beat a defeated retreat to the bedroom and pulled Geralt’s arm around himself, wanting the whole world to just go away for a little while.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Babysitting Marni became a more regular fixture for Cahir. He maintained that one or two kids didn’t make much of a difference, if one was going to make a mess, the second wouldn’t add too much more. Though he was still very protective of both Marni and Samu, preferring to have them in his orbit, with two children to keep an eye on, it was easier to let go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All too soon, they were learning to walk. Samu had been happily crawling between Lambert and Eskel while Cahir helped Jaskier with Marni. She was at the stage where she could pull herself up and stand precariously, maybe even taking a step of two before falling onto her backside with a squeal and a clap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s got your eyes,” Cahir said, watching as Jaskier held Marni’s hands. “It’s what I love seeing in Samu. Bits of Lambert and Eskel reflected back in him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s also got a good bit of you in there.” Jaskier’s back ached from leaning over so much but he was determined to try and do the right thing with Marni.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cahir hummed and shrugged. “I hope he grows out of those bits. He’ll be happier for it. The first time I laid eyes on him and saw the other two hidden in Samu’s features? I suddenly understood exactly what love was.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guilty, Jaskier looked down at Marni, grateful she couldn’t really understand their conversation. “I didn’t have that. I tried so damn hard but-” he broke off and shook his head, “-she wasn’t how I imagined her. And I wanted to love her but, well, it’s still a work in progress.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As much as Cahir wanted to reassure that Jaskier would get there, he couldn’t in good conscience give false platitudes. “You’ll do the best you can for her and Geralt will too.” After a moment he added, “I thought I would hate Samu. After how much I didn’t want him, how much I suffered because of him, I couldn’t imagine how I would ever love him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Samu no!” The shout from Eskel was followed by a blur of movement and the sound of something clattering to the floor. In the silence, Samu laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lambert and Cahir were by Eskel’s side immediately, pulling him up from where he’d pulled Samu to his chest to protect him. As Cahir checked over their child, Lambert hissed as he took Eskel’s hand into his. All along his hand and arm was an angry red burn where the tea Samu had pulled down had splashed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll get him to the infirmary,” Lambert declared, pulling Eskel up and fussing over him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Watching them leave, Cahir clutched at Samu who was completely unharmed and burbling away happily. Chewing thoughtfully on his lower lip, he sighed. “I don’t know why I ever doubted them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jaskier stepped closer, making a querying noise in his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean, they’re just as much Samu’s parents as me. And they’ve let me be as possessive and protective as I want to be with our child. But they’d die for him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And for you too,” Jaskier said softly. “They love you and will do anything for you. Including letting you take their child if that was what kept you both happy, comfortable and safe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That night Cahir ushered Eskel into the middle of the bed, made sure Lambert was cuddled up to him before sprawling on top of them both, kissing them in turn to try and pour all his emotions into actions when words failed him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So many milestones were reached within such a short period of time. While everyone laughed at how Marni’s first word was “coin”, nobody actually knew Samu’s because he babbled so much, it got lost in all the noise. However, one of his favourites to yell was “Dad” at the top of his lungs because it almost immediately had one of his parents rushing to him. As far as Samu was concerned it was a great game. His tired fathers were inclined to disagree.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>First teeth, first steps, first words, they all came in rapid succession and, in a way, it was a relief. It meant that the babies needed less supervision as they grew. Only four months after their birth, they were looking and behaving like eight year olds. Which meant they were old enough to handle swords and learn some basic self-defence. It also helped Cahir get back into the habit of training. He found that he quite enjoyed fighting the others, knowing full well he was going to end up on his back with a sword to his throat. However, each day he could last just that little bit longer, be that much more of a challenge to his opponent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Samu and I are taking the wolves out for a run!” He called into the courtyard, grabbing a sword and strapping it to his back. It had been easy enough to pick up the habit of wearing a sword like a witcher rather than a soldier. Plus, Cahir quite liked how Eskel’s eyes darkened with lust at the sight so it was no hardship to adopt the habit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have fun!” Lambert hollered back, in the middle of a fight with Ciri, both of them spinning before making any move, obviously playing to some new and ludicrous rules. “If you find any truffles, bring them back!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Snorting, Cahir shook his head and took Samu’s hand. They liked getting a bit of time to themselves, without Marni bouncing in and announcing her newest life plans. So far she had planned to be a bard, a goat herder, a healer and ruler of a new empire. She was definitely Jaskier’s daughter from that perspective. Meanwhile, Samu was more quiet, reserved but stubborn. He loved disappearing into the library with Vesemir, reading the books on monsters and creatures. Lambert had almost choked when, over dinner one evening, Samu began to pick apart a witcher’s duties and how they could probably get away with killing very little, if only they could convince locals to live in harmony with the creatures around them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As they walked out of Kaer Morhen, Cahir sighed. As much as he’d grown to love the keep and the people within, he hadn’t spent so much time in one place since before being given to the Nilfgaardian army. It meant he had always felt more comfortable out in the wilderness than in a stuffy palace or mansion. The wolves raced ahead of them and Cahir nodded, allowing Samu to take off after them. What he didn’t expect was for the three to hurry back, Samu looking a little panicked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t realise we’ve got guests coming.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blood chilling, Cahir looked around and cursed his human abilities. With two fathers being witchers, it was only to be expected that Samu would have more keen senses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a group of four, heading this way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eyes still on their surroundings, Cahir nodded. “Listen carefully. I want you to take the wolves and go back to the keep. Tell your Dads that we have company then you need to take Marni, Ciri and Uncle Jaskier to the library, okay? Your uncle knows what to do there.” They had a secret passage that led out of Kaer Morhen. The path was lined with emergency packs. After the sacking, Vesemir had sworn to never get caught short again. Drawing his sword, Cahir watched as Samu called the wolves to him and they ran back to the keep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Having Samu burst into the courtyard, panting and wild eyed, Eskel was immediately approaching him with worry. Especially when there was no sign of Cahir, only two agitated wolves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s a group of people coming. Dad said I need to take Marni, Ciri and Uncle Jaskier to the library.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lambert stepped up behind Eskel, knuckled white around the hilt of his sword. “You do that. We’ll send Uncle Geralt and Papa Vesemir after you in a minute. Go! Now!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He exchanged a look with Eskel before they were rushing to grab their swords and running down the trail towards Cahir. They could smell him, knew the routes he took, having shown him the way. Crashing into a clearing, they could see four men standing opposite Cahir who still had his sword drawn but it was pointing to the ground. They came to a stop by his shoulders, flanking him menacingly and taking in the four men who dared approach their safe haven.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lambert, Eskel,” Cahir’s voice was strained. “These are-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your children,” Eskel cut in. All four of the men looked similar and eerily familiar. The colour and shape of eyes on one, the high cheekbones of another, the hair colour they’d grown so used to on a third. In all four of the men Eskel could see echoes of their third.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” Cahir turned to look at Eskel with wet eyes. “They’re my sons.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did they find you?” Ever suspicious, Lambert wasn’t going to be taken in so easily. He didn’t look away from the group, no matter how much he wanted to check over Cahir and make sure he was unharmed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nilfgaard fell,” one of the men replied. “We no longer had to fight for the army that bred us. No longer had to lead our friends to their deaths. We were all named according to our batch but we were all designated Alpha.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They came to find me,” Cahir added. “They found out who I was, went to Vicovaro to find me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But he wasn’t there.” Another of the group picked up the story. “Nobody knew where he’d gone but others said he was alive when the farm was raided. Then we heard a baker talking about witchers and their unnatural experiments. She told us she thought she’d seen a pregnant man in the company of witchers.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eskel huffed out a soft “damn Jaskier” under his breath. They were just fortunate that nothing worse came of the situation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ignoring him, the other man carried on. “We feared our sire had been taken by witchers and kept for their own amusement and breeding purposes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is quite a small rescue party to take on a keep of witchers,” Lambert snorted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eyes narrowing, the shortest of the group raised an eyebrow. “Don’t forget that our sire is the greatest general Nilfgaard ever had. There’s a reason we were sold at such a high price.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Cahir bit out, finally recovering from the reeling shock of it all. “I’m sorry you were sold. That I couldn’t protect you.” Eskel wrapped an arm around Cahir’s waist. While he didn’t agree with the apology, didn’t think there was much that anyone could have realistically done, Eskel wasn’t the one that had to live with all those memories and helpless regrets. “I should have been the one coming to find you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve found each other now,” Eskel tried to reason. “Why don’t they join us, we have plenty to share for dinner this evening. It is just the four of you, I assume?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We tracked down the other three, they all died in battle.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nodding firmly, Eskel glanced towards Lambert who had his lips pressed into a thin, unimpressed line. “Well, I guess the family just got bigger,” he said in the end and turned. “But any funny business and you’re tossed out on your ass, Cahir’s child or not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The quietest of Cahir’s children finally spoke up. “Why do you stay with them? Why not go home?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am home,” Cahir replied without hesitation. “This is the only place I’ve ever truly called that. Because it’s where my family is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But they got you pregnant again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not on purpose and never again.” Cahir sheathed his sword and took Lambert’s and Eskel’s hands in his. “I’ve found people who want me as much as I want them. This place? It may not be perfect but it’s the happiest I’ve ever been.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silently, they turned and started the trudge up to Kaer Morhen. There was a lot to talk about, even more to cry about. But it was a start. It was an end too. All the uncertainty, the regret, they could finally put a line under it and move on to the next part of their lives together.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You can find more short Witcher stories from me on tumblr - @jaskiersvalley</p></blockquote></div></div>
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